On 'Public' Display of Affection

Facebook has changed the face of social networking. It takes everything to a new level altogether; protests, celebrations,disasters,awareness,relationships and also despicable behavior. I’ve lately noticed an array of strong messages on “Why emotions SHOULD-NOT be expressed on a public forum” spamming my timeline. Now that puzzles me and puzzles me terribly. Being acerbic about other’s showing love is conventional but people illustrating love publicly is questionable. Why so, my dear bunch of judgmental critics?

How does a “personal message on a public platform” dilute the strength or sincerity of anyone’s emotions?  Being ultra-clever and sarcastically posting updates in the lines of “I would never express my love on fb” only makes you unpleasant and disparaging. Errrmmmmm. I secretly feel like giving these people a high-five on their face.

This disdainful attitude is annoying. What joy could a mordant update on the world’s celebratory mood bring to you? Mother’s day, Sister’s day, Friendship’s Day, Valentine’s Day- They might not be the most ‘deep’ or ‘passionate’ way to celebrate love but they are pleasant! A perfect opportunity to break the ice, mend bridges and say little nothings to people who’re significant in one’s life. What could be wrong in having one such day when everyone collectively sends out positive messages across their entire network of friends? What can be wrong in people posting lovely messages and photographs with mother’s on facebook on “mother’s day”? It's a gesture that is heart-melting and over-whelming if you ask me. Being embraced on a public platform through a simple message! I would love to be acknowledged as special on a public platform by family, friends and loved ones. What could be wrong in that? The answer evades me. Also, what inconvenience does it cause to the “cool one’s” on planet earth?

You can have your unique ways of being expressive. For all anyone cares, you can choose not to express at all! But why on earth would you post punitive messages about other people being affable? Collective celebration brings immense joy. The power of togetherness charges up the atmosphere in a way that’s euphoric. Questioning that collective energy and positivity is simply rude and weird.

If you prefer showing love silently you rather keep your unpleasant discontentment about “others” also silent. What say! A win-win for everyone!

It’s extremely vexing to see dry wistful “know-it-all” updates in the lines of “If I loved someone it won’t be on facebook”. Derogatory!

Life would be a lot simpler if we quit conniving and being judgmental towards other people. Who is happy and who’s pretending to be happy is ‘their’ business and minding its authenticity is certainly not yours. Sharing love is beautiful and the modes could be many. In my opinion, expressing a gratitude or affection is a person’s biggest gift to the world and anyone who thinks otherwise is a cynic.

On this note, Here's a toast to the most wonderful woman on planet earth! My lover, my soul-mate and the core of my strength! Happy Mother’s Day Mommy!

I hope that doesn't weaken my feelings for my Mom.Yes? Critics!?

Delicious Ambiguity

I’m in a phase of life which can be stamped and sealed into being the most uncertain and important period of my life. The dramatic, life-altering sorts! Yeah! :-/  
 

Who else is going through this phase? Come-on, hands-up people! I’ll find peace in knowing there are more souls dealing with the similar issues as me.Even my horoscope talks about big changes this year. Partner change, career change, home change or zeeeeeeee- maybe country change! Country change would be near death for me!Also, you don’t have to judge me for being beaconed by online horoscopes. Even you can try,it’s fun!

 I’ve been sulking, cribbing, whining and obsessing with all the uncertainty in my life for a while now. I’d promised myself a few years back that I’ll never compromise on “how I feel” about people, places, perceptions and career. The whole world including my family and friends might oppose my decisions but I’ll pursue things that draw me intuitively. This innate drive has never let me down in the bigger picture. It starts with an unsettling, challenging feeling but always transcends me to unparalleled joy. Experiences money can’t buy! Priceless!

The worst we can do to ourselves and the people we love is to dissuade them from chasing their dreams for the comfort of ‘perceived certainty’. Following your heart is tough but the only way to be “yours truly”. It allows life to squeeze your hands for encouragement as you trace your destiny. THAT squeeze! THAT comfort! THAT familiar unfamiliarity! Being consummated by each moment in its entirety and letting it pierce through your very being till you become one with each other. Badaboom! THAT moment! The feeling just clips you into itself and lets you experience the paramount. Yearning, sulking, whining, anger and rage have their own charisma. You get pleasure from them sometimes. No? I’m not sure if I make sense, but I get a kick out of these emotions every once in a while.

 The going gets tough sometimes. Luck is a bitch sometimes. Things go haywire sometimes.                                              

  The catch is “sometimes”

“Every time I’m struck by trouble, the ‘certain’ side of me sinks into depression while the ‘uncertain’ side starts fluttering in the anticipation of something exciting!!”

Chasing certainty only makes life incomplete and bland. The security of your job turns into complacence and eventually boredom if a slight push of disturbance doesn’t make you reinvent. Your relationship/marriage cannot give you overwhelming pleasure and unparalleled security unless you rediscover love and friendship between each other everyday. 

Nothing is certain unless it FEELS right at this moment. After moderating a feisty debate between my uncertain and certain side, I’ve decided to embrace the uncertainty of future to rekindle the spark in my present. 

“I wanted a perfect ending. Now I've learned, the hard way, that some poems don't rhyme, and some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next. Delicious Ambiguity.” ― Gilda Radner

Are you living a Delusion?

My friend recently broke-up with her muse of several years. I use the word muse because the illusion of perfect love rapidly paled away when an uncertain concept turned into a concrete real experience. To put things simply, she was committed “in her head” for a couple of years before the relationship started and ended officially in a span of a few months.

It came as a surprise but not shock to me.

One, because I’ve started finding beautiful girls like her getting stuck in what “they think is perfect love” amusing and two, because I’ve realized if a relationship is dormant and not taken to the next level at the right time, people start playing mind games and sub-consciously turn it into a mission. Once feelings turn into a mission, they last only till the mission is accomplished.No?

Don’t you think most of us in emotionally wrecking relationships are killing time brutally? Although, I endorse being patient and letting the moment pass in most cases; if the turbulence extends to anything beyond a week something is certainly wrong. Unrequited love creates an illusion making you mistake it for some metaphysical soul connection. Reality-check! Connections aren’t one-sided. Please! 

You are just getting trapped in your own web of ‘supposed’ commitment while there’s no meat in real life. The fights/make-ups, ego tussles, turbulent romance- are mostly ‘in your head’.

Deal with the apparitions of your imagination and get over them, I say! Or else, get batman to help you. *Eyerolls*

Get your timing right. Emotional health is imperative, really! No sad depressing music please? No shopping sprees please? No over-eating and bloating please? No finding yourself in movies and sitcoms either please? No clinging on to the guy and taking his bullshit in the name of love please? Act Selfish till you find someone who keeps you above his/her ego. Till then it’s NOT love, Ladies. And gentlemen *Cough*

You’re born to be happy, look good, dress well, stay fit, earn good money, get pampered and spread love! Don’t turn into a lousy slouch ever in the name of love. Its kickass to be a rebel with a cause, to give a fck to egomaniacs and philanderers and live it up to the fullest!

When its your time to love- it will be effortless and profuse. Your fears and insecurities will dissolve by themselves. You’ll be laughing with that person when the whole world seems to be a bitch!

A deep sense of security and companionship is love. I can’t be sure, but I think it incites a sense of deep faith and joy. It is comforting, secure and refreshing.

 “Love is patient,love is kind. It does not envy ,it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not self-seeking,it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrong things. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.- Corinthians 13:4- 8a

On being a Control Freak

“Control is an illusion, you infantile egomaniac. Nobody knows what's gonna happen next: not on a freeway, not in an airplane, not inside our own bodies and certainly not on a racetrack with 40 other infantile egomaniacs.”- Claire Lewicki

I’ve realized that a lot of us tend to be in control of emotions and relationships all the time. We’re consumed by this need to communicate and sort things to a degree which is sickening.

The point is, love and ownership are two different concepts. For some reason we seem to mix-up the two royally. Come-onnn, Face it. If you want to share everything about yourself with someone and expect to know everything about them, it’s just spooky fixation!

Sharing is wonderful only if the lack of it doesn't cause paranoia. Otherwise it becomes a compulsive disorder.

                                                                                                              

This state is not just arduous but also dangerously unhealthy. You perennially set standards and try meeting the one’s set for you.There’s nothing new or exciting left to explore in the relationship after a point. It’s tedious, staid and guarantees boredom. There’s more reflection and hardly reflex action.

                                                

I remember being a freak myself, bogged by a need to clarify all my actions at one point in time.  I now realize, it's the worst form of dodgery into unhappiness.

Complete transparency all the time is not humanly possible! There are times when we aren’t even sure of how we feel and being burdened with forced communication is just toxic!

Push some things under the carpet, let some emotions just pass, let some mistakes just be experiences and let people be themselves. Enjoy people for who they are instead of wasting energy creating the artists sketch in your head.

A beautiful example of a control-freak now in tune with people she loves is my friend D. She sorts issues by letting go when needed, loves people by allowing them to evolve their way, stands by them without questions and has grown sturdily herself by living in the moment!

If you want to enjoy looking at the mirror and the person who stares back at you, you have to make the best out of your present. You have to stop brooding over managing others all the time in the name of love. You have to go with the flow and love people with that free spirit.

You need to be free. To be able to love

                                                           

“You can't control other people. If you try to, you give all your freedom to them.” Sam Haines