Saturday, December 4, 2010

A girl I met

I saw her standing outside the station and paced towards her when suddenly two college kids barged from nowhere and started talking to her in great urgency. "Okay! I thought she was coming alone. Who are these kiddos!"
I waved at her and the next few hours were one of the most interesting moments of my life.

Curious and excited, I'd been wondering what she'll be like!What would we talk about? Would we bond as two women or feel weird about the roles we play, would we come back with a feeling of disappointment and insecurity or would we take back a feeling of sisterhood. In the middle of all this excitement these teenyboppers(who were complete strangers) added to the tempo by making us a part of their drama. These kids wanted to go partying and were conning their Mom into believing they were staying at Gigi's cousins place in Carter road ( Dont ask me why I ended up playing Gigi's character). So thats how I first met that girl. And thats how a memorable eventful evening started.

Can ex's be friends is an endless debate. But my take on it... Absolutely!I guess respect, faith and compassion is the beauty of this relationship...Can their present partners bond with you? My take on it today....Absolutely!Sometimes these relationships pose potentially uncomfortable situations which can turn into amazingly wonderful ones!

I know these relations can fade away anytime, these people can move out anytime,but these memories stay forever. As times change, as we grow and experience new things, meet new people, understand different facets of their personality, life becomes more fulfilling and interesting than yesterday.

I realize the value of every person who's left a mark in the pages of my memory. Who knowingly/unknowingly made me stronger and deeper. This girl believed me and I believed her, I dont know if I'll ever meet her again but I know that she's left me with pleasant memories. Beyond every seemingly complicated situation is a little word called faith, and that faith I believe creates beautiful memories. So cheers to this girl I met :-)


Friday, December 3, 2010

Little Moments

It was almost eleven when we were returning home, tired and worn out. The traffic was clear surprisingly and I could feel the wind on my face as the taxi moved on. Motion has a strange effect on me. I wished I could just keep moving and stop only at something that complimented this motion.My roommate fortunately is equally impulsive and so travelling it was!

Sea face. The sound of waves.The majestic enormity and the unmatched feeling it inspires. Deep, soulful and real.Mumbai sea face has huge rocks on the shore, its not a beach, its just a face. I saw stagnant water in the middle of rocks and free flowing wild waves on the other side. I want to be like that wave, leap out of my comfort zone, mock at the whole world and sail in the vast waters of experience.

Little moments. When you do what you feel is right. When you look around the crowd and realize your place in it. You know none of them but their presence is comforting in its own way. It gives a sense of belongingness in nothingness sometimes. These are moments I cant define but they give me solace. Perhaps they bring me closer to people who love me and make me feel special.

Little moments. When people of great integrity come by your side and make you believe in the charm of every relationship. Its spending time with such people that intensifies the feeling of sisterhood. Faith is something I cant see or touch. But I can feel it. Faith in people. Faith in the love of people. Faith in the goodness of people. Faith in the beauty of a free mind.A mind that reacts to feelings, not a mind that judges by definition.

Little moments. When you set yourself free. Free yourself of all guilt,shame,burden and assumptions. When you accept yourself,your dreams, your eccentricities and passions with unadulterated love. Its that acceptance which gives us little moments. Its that acceptance that makes every person beautiful.

Its these little moments I want to live. Its these little moments I want to cherish. Little moments that make me. Little moments that make you a part of me. Little moments that are traced somewhere in the pages of time. Little moments that make me happy,peaceful and proud. Little moments...and more of them.

Thursday, November 18, 2010

CloudY Emotions

Clouds and Emotions. Equally Unpredictable,equally beautiful and equally indispensable!

Arent we the most unpredictable when we let our emotions rule us? Thats when we are the most natural and maybe unreadable. Just like the clouds. Who can ever predict the shapes they're going to assume the next minute. A big snow flake might be a heart in minutes!

Clouds are dark and scary in storms, just like emotions that are dark and frightening during bad times. Clouds are calm and pretty in spring, just like emotions that are tranquil and pleasant in good times. Clouds are dense in rains just like emotions that are intense in love. Clouds are happy and flaky on sunny days, just like emotions that are bubbly and jumpy on bright days. Clouds are at their best when allowed to be in the lap of mother nature, where effects of global warming and artificial rains are yet to distort them, just like emotions that are the most endearing when immune to the influence of defined rules and behavior.

Clouds and Emotions. They are both free and liberated, happiest when allowed to be themselves. Clouds and emotions, the most unpredictable when allowed to be themselves. Clouds and emotions, the most beautiful when allowed to themselves.Emotions, at their best when cloudy and clouds,at their best when they evoke emotions.Cloudy emotions :)

Friday, November 12, 2010

The ChiLd WithIn....

I woke up and stood by the window as usual.That little girl I noticed, was again upto her antics. I often see her dancing,sweeping the floor, talking to imaginary friends, hosting imaginary guests and cooking meals :) Innocence personified. Looking at her is getting a glimpse of every girls childhood.

A time when dolls were our best friends, our best friend today was a voice for other dolls then:) We didnt really care for what others were upto, what others thought of our playing throughout the day with our toy family and what others thought of our talking to ourselves! For us, it was the most natural behavior possible.But now we're growing up.Or are we?

Growing up makes sense if it adds a sense of responsibility, a responsibility to make life a worthwhile journey. Growing up makes sense if it adds to the strength within, the strength to believe and stand up for those beliefs. Growing up makes sense when the voice within becomes louder than the voices outside. When imagination becomes realism and you connect to that child within. When possibilities expand and unexplored doors suddenly open up.If growing up limits your dreams, plants seeds of doubt and fear,its just growing old!

Theres a child within each one of us. The child we are most often if not always ashamed of, that child is the window of our soul. That child is harmless,transparent,innocent and cheerful. That child may make us vulnerable to others, but a clear conscience makes that vulnerability our strength.

That little girl, doesnt even know that she tosses me back into a world I love the most, a part of the world that exists somewhere in time, a time I love travelling back to, a time that connects me to the child within, that reminds me each time I forget,

"We may be growing old, but theres still time to grow,
We may put the child in us to sleep, but the child's there for sure,
Connecting to that child within, gives us infinite space to grow.....

Friday, November 5, 2010

A girl like me :)

Mom: Is there someone? Should we start looking?I got a call from this guys..........
OH NO!!! Not again!!!
Yes!We're all going through the same phase. With our Moms groom prospecting (Uhhh!!!) and the stubborn us refusing to break away from our fantasy world, life isnt that simple any more! Of course I want to marry! But it cant be a compulsion with a timeline! Its the next 50-60 years of my life.Hello!I want to grow old with someone whos fun, loving,caring and compatible! Weighing someones resume for marriage is actually repulsive!
And then I get flashes of all "Spectacles waali moms and aunties" : "life mein compromise karna padta hai"
Compromise! What does that even mean! You cant compromise with your feelings. And here we're talking about compromising on life.
Megha. Our zenlike conversations arent taking us anywhere.
Vinita Punia. Your confusion in life confuses me more than anything and anyone. Talk about the great Jat Love story!
Romika Gahlaut. Im laughing. Lets not talk about marriage!
Dhriti. I can only see a hunter and a scared mouse like guy around.
Rupal. Miss sorted who distorts the idea of marriage with her theories
Sonam. Whew lover girl... I see some hope here.

All my crazy girls. Please please please. We need some stability. Are we looking for boyfriends or lovers? Lovers or husbands ? What are we looking for? Do we want it forever? Do we want it for a season?

I really dont know what we want. Till the time it wasnt time to take a call, philosophy worked. Now that its time, nothing works!

Just the fact that there are other crazy, confused,adorable girls around makes things better if not easier. Girls like me....Confused like me....with problems like mine...with dreams like mine....Yes! Its you! All of you who've added flavors to this scary phase and made it memorable. Cheers to all of you all!


PS: And for those of you I havent mentioned.....its because I wasnt sure if you'd like being mentioned or maybe I didnt know your story :) :) But if you can relate to this... I'm sure even you're a girl like me! :) :)

Saturday, October 16, 2010

Theres something extraordinary in ordinary people :)

Its that time of the year again! Women decked up in shimmery,super sexy lehenga cholis and men in traditional attires dance in trance(literally!). The floor practically reverberates as the speed catches up!
I stood in a corner watching them dance to familiar tunes.A pretty lady broke away from the circle and asked me to join in.What followed was the most wonderful time I've had in days. As I danced with a bunch of people I'd never met or even seen before,a sense of familiarity started seeping in. Although Mumbai often evokes this feeling,today it was more profound.
These ordinary people have something extraordinary in them! They can make you feel home even if they've met you minutes back. How is it that some people have this magical quality of loving everyone with such an open heart!I was a part of them even before I realized!
Is our generation moving too fast? Are we trying too hard to be extraordinary?
In our endeavor to be extraordinary, have we lost that beauty of an ordinary life? I mean, look at these wonderful people, they pray every morning so that the day ahead can be full of smiles.
There was a time when even I woke up and thanked god for all the wonderful people and things in my life. A time when the smallest of gifts made me leap out of my space and go wild in excitement.Where have those wonderful days of gratitude gone!?
Today in the middle of these beats, in the middle of those moments of bliss, these ordinary people gave me something priceless. The need to be ordinary. The need to thank god for all his blessings. The need to stop whining for an extra ordinary life.
They're real and yet surreal. They're simple yet classy. They're ordinary yet extraordinary. :)

Sunday, October 10, 2010

Tribute...To some Part of You...in some part of the World...or other world.

The list starts from those people I have never met or seen, people whose work and ideas changed my life drastically, knowingly or unknowingly they made me who I am,the way I think and the way I dream.
It started with Enid Blyton fairy tales that led me to believe toys had life in them :) , the presence of a faraway tree, elves and goblins :) Then came the phase when Famous five and secret seven replaced fairy tales and bingo! I made a group of awesome foursome who had their secret marks to identify the club bonding. Enid Blyton was a loyal friend till adolescence. Strange!A woman in some part of the world sketched characters that became my world.

My association with Enid Blyton became bleak once Sydney Sheldon entered my life. He talks about serious stuff! I'm grown up now!:-) "Lara Cameron" from Stars Shine down became a role model and instilled a fire for entrepreneurship, that fire dies down and again flickers every now and then, she will always be a part of me.

The woman who really touched a chord with me and changed my outlook, perspective,thoughts and my beliefs is Ayn Rand! It took me years to complete The fountainhead and Atlas Shrugged. But these years untangled knots and complexities of life with such ease that till date I'm awe inspired.The characters in these novels still come alive as variety touches my life every now and then. These characters help me identify people and experiences as good or bad. One woman who taught me more than I could have maybe ever learnt in a lifetime. Cant find the right words to thank you!

Around the same phase the world was talking about this book "The secret" by Rhonda Byrne. That book I admit has created so many beautiful moments for me that I've lost count of them. It was an experiment for me, an experiment that worked and kept reinforcing my belief in it.
Have to thank that woman for this path breaking book and commercializing it successfully. I dont think I would have ever laid my hands on a self help book if the cover page wasnt as intriguing and mysterious as this one. You've done a wonderful job! And this theory is a part of me forever now :)

Its been 23 plus years of my life and these people are a part of me unknowingly.These wonderful writers and thinkers.An ode to them for having the imagination, courage,vision and ability to create such beautiful masterpieces! You've become immortal with your work and this ones a tribute to you!




Saturday, October 2, 2010

Expression,Faith and Meanings

I followed others and stood in the queue waiting for my turn to have (what I assume is called Prasad in Hindu religion). She walked upto me and gravely asked , "Are you Catholic?" I shook my head and said No. "Then you cant taste that. Its from Jesus's body and only for catholics". I was struck by an unknown emotion and answers I had been looking for all this while stared straight at me.
Church. The serene atmosphere, those beautiful gospels, extracts from Bible and answers to the mysteries of life. These are moments which make me admire and appreciate other religions.
And then suddenly a perfect case of confused devotion pops up and flings me to the other end of belief.
My first reaction instinctively was going blank, which was replaced by resentment, which was replaced by anger, which finally after a lot of self debate solidified into acceptance. "She is just one of those people who cause the spark which spreads into fire as the feeling propagates. I have to ignore this feeling before it disillusions me."
I am here for peace and so are you. I am here to find answers and so are you.I am here to connect to that higher power and so are you.I bare my soul to him and so do you. Then what makes you discard me from this association?
Growing up in a Hindu Brahmin family innately attracts me to idol worship,hymns and prayers. Inspite of that need for loud expressions of faith I recognize the existence of a higher power who maybe doesnt even recognize any of these expressions. That power only responds to our feelings and emotions. With age this understanding has grown and this faith is strengthening.
Religion forms the base of our beliefs and understandings but its not the expression rather meaning of faith thats important.
I had read disappointing stories of communal bias but getting hurled into one of the pages and turning into one of the characters made me discern its severity.
This incident aroused a need in me; a need to hold on to my faith, a need to keep humanity above religion, a need to immune myself to such communal hatred.
Yes! There are bad experiences and good experiences. Seeds that either help us evolve into stronger individuals who "live" or rot us into shallow people who just "exist".
I made my choice . Tommorow you may have to make the same choice. Think twice before you make yours.Maybe you accidently read my blog .Maybe these thoughts make sense to you at that point of time. Even if you have made your choice.Think again.
Theres a beautiful song by Rahat Fateh Ali Khan,
"dhundhla jaayein jo manzilein ek pal ko tu nazar jhuka,
jhuk jaye sar jahan wahi milta hain rab ka rasta,
teri kismat tu badal de rakh himmat bus chal de,
tera saathi mere kadmon ke hain nishan,
tu na jaane aas pass hai khuda"
If this song makes sense to you too,but you've made your choice, think again.Delve into your faith,find meaning to it and express it only for love. If its not love. Think again.

Monday, September 27, 2010

National Pride Kicking in.....YoU Will shine!

The world is talking about our sorry state of affairs. I know it makes you sad. We havent been responsible. We keep fighting within ourselves.We refuse to love, we refuse to believe, we refuse to grow. You're portrayed as filthy and unkempt in every ball of global representation. I know it hurts you as much as it hurts me.
Yes! The corruption angers me.The media disappoints me.The politics saddens me. But when its time for you to make an entry into the world stage,I want you to look your best! Its like that beauty pageant where models from every nation display the brightest side of their personality.
Why are you displayed as a poor damsel in distress all the time? I'm a part of you and know you're strong. You've sustained thousands of terror attacks and riots.Your undying spirit runs through us! I agree we have our share of drawbacks that need to be sorted. But who doesn't?Public diatribes over our inadequacies and inefficiency when we need to overcome disgrace is ridiculous.
Our misery and filth has been received with open arms by the world outside, they love to see you in shambles, and a part of us has become addicted to publicity,any kind of publicity, even if it makes you look like a freak show.
We are sending Peepli Live for Oscars. A movie that only shows the hollowness of our system.This movie will be the face of India!I know somewhere within you're crumbling when we choose to click your ugliest pictures and send them for awards because the judges love watching these ugly pictures.We are still debating all over the news channels over how big a failure CWG would be.We are sharing jokes over anticipated disasters. Some of us are ashamed and some are angry.Is this the time to play blame games?It breaks my heart everyday when these ideas reach me.
But a few wonderfully spirited people help me gather myself again,these people love the side of you thats dazzling,these people are striving to show your beauty. These people inspire me to hope for the best.

You are strong.You are spirited.You are beautiful.

I believe its national pride kicking in! YoU will shine!

Saturday, September 25, 2010

That MAn......




I try writing about you and cant find words to describe any of what I feel. Every time I want to thank you for giving me this wonderful life, a life with added colors to the sketches in my dreams,I fall short of words.This relationship is larger than life and no words can express this love. From times we celebrated to those when you held us together in turmoil,I watched in proud silence wishing I could be like you one day.

This piece is not for you.This is for That Man who gives me strength and shelter,for That Man who compromises on his comfort to give me luxury, for That Man who's happiness lies in my happiness!I used to read these fancy lines in books about selfless and unconditional love,That Man gave meaning to all of it.

I'm not sure if every daughter in this world feels the same about her father but we are fortunate to have That man in ours.....:)

Cant thank god enough for That Man.

Saturday, September 18, 2010

Is it just me or do you feel the same sometimes?

I am feeling drained,so lost and tired,is it just me or do you feel the same way sometimes??

Everything is perfect and things can only get better, yet theres an emptiness that creeps in from nowhere.Is it just me or do you feel the same way sometimes?

A quiver full of piercing thoughts enter my head and clout my mind, is it just me or do you feel the same way sometimes?

I want god to answer all those questions that are unanswered and ironically unknown, is it just me or do you feel the same way sometimes?

I have all the answers staring at me and yet cant understand anything clearly, is it just me or do you feel the same sometimes?

I feel the way I wanted to feel and yet feel afraid of what I feel,is it just me or do you feel the same way sometimes?

I feel myself being hurled into new territories and am afraid of what lies ahead,is it just me or do you feel the same way sometimes?

I want to be me and yet feel like a stranger to myself,is it just me or do you feel the same way sometimes?

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

In the Middle of Glitter and LightS....

In the middle of all the glitter and lights,
I walk through with awe inspired wonder,
In the middle of all the glitter and lights,
I try hearing my voice within the thunder.
In the middle of all the glitter and lights,
A part of me wants to completely surrender,
In the middle of all the glitter and lights,
I see revival out of past plunder,
In the middle of all the glitter and lights,
I see solutions even out of blunders,
In the middle of all the glitter and lights,
I discover the need to love myself tender.......

Sunday, September 12, 2010

You are a part of me and I am a part of you.....

Your vastness and infinity,
Your gaze from above,
Your mysterious signs,
Your different colors,
Your magnetic pull,
You are a part of me and I am a part of you.

Your vastness and infinity,
Your serenity in stillness,
Your rage in storm,
Your seduction in waves,
At the edge I sit and stare across,
You are a part of me and I am a part of you.

When you both meet at a distance,
The sight inspires persistence,
Raises and quitens myriad questions,
I wish I could lose myself in vast blue,
You are a part of me and I am a part of you.

Thursday, September 2, 2010

InDia...All its colors,Richness and Beauty!

Buildings all around,loud music echoing across the area, a gang of enthusiastic men and children dancing in euphoria,women throwing water from the floors above, a rope across two buildings and a beautifully decorated pot in the middle of air. A delectable bait waiting to be struck!

Mumbai at its best!! These are times when an Indian at heart would say "feel aa gai yaar!"

Today as me and my roommate watched this happy bunch of people celebrating Janmaashtami with such zeal and energy, we couldnt help but feel the vibrations! Such joy! These people we didnt know, people we'd never met, people we were only watching from a distance;these people made our evening wonderful. I found myself falling in love with festivals again. I found myself falling in love with those times again when people of all age groups got together and danced away to glory not caring of anything but their idol. The lights,the decoration,the music,the people,the prayers,the chants,truly incredible!

This wonderful country, its rich culture and vibrant customs!! The people here....theres diversity in languages but they sound like me, there's diversity in appearances but they look like me, theres diversity in festivals but they believe like me.

If theres a place called home, then its here. If theres a place where I feel free, then its here.If theres a place where strangers are "bhaiya" and "Didi", then its here. A place where I feel me,then its here.

Reminds me of those beautiful lines by Javed Akhtar,

"Woh kehte hain woh mujh jaise nahin,

Phir mujh jaise kyun yeh lagte hain"

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Death KisseD By LovE

A woman whose kiss is the taste of death,
A woman whose kiss leads people to the gateway of death,
What if that woman kisses a man she falls in love with?

She kissed him,the kiss that took his last breathe away,he got the taste of death and she got a taste of something that diluted her identity. She was death,wasnt she? Then why did she want to live suddenly? She sucked feelings out of the body,didnt she? Then why did she want feel suddenly?

The turmoil she was going through couldnt be defined. She tried to break free but she couldnt,the more she tried the worse it got. Was it love?The most powerful emotion in the universe. An emotion that can never be matched upto, an emotion that defines life. She was touched by something that defined life.But life? Death touched by life?

What would happen to this woman...........

What would happen..

If death is kissed by loVe........

Sunday, August 22, 2010

Nain Parindey...

This song evokes an emotion I cant define, this tune,the lyrics,the concept,its just beautiful.
That dream I've nurtured since childhood,that dream which often sleeps in me and wakes up to set me free every once in a while, that dream which defines me, that dream which takes me to a world I cant find myself in. This song connects me to that dream.
Dance,dance till you feel the rhythm.Dance till you let go off all the sorrow and confusion. Dance till you set yourself free. Dance till you see beyond the obvious. Dance till you smile in solitude.Dance till everyone around drowns in the beats. Dance.
Love to dance.Dance to love.Live to dance.Dance to live.Smile to dance.Dance to smile.Dance to breathe.Breathe to dance.Express to dance.Dance to express.Unleash to dance.Dance to Unleash.
Dance.
This song.Love,live,smile,breathe,express,unleash.
Dance.

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

DrEaMs

Why is the word dream so significant in our lives? Optimists and Pessimists, Lovers and friends, family and strangers, it plays a vital role in everyones lives and relationships.
Optimists love dreaming and pessimists are afraid of it, lovers dream of lives together and friends cherish dreams once shared,family is a part of it till the end of time while strangers enter and exit occasionally.
A dream can bring a smile when you're asleep, a dream can make your day when you wake up, a dream can give life a new meaning, a dream can walk you through days when you're feeling blue, a dream can create and also drive you towards the life you want to create.
Everyone has dreams ! Some believe in them and others shrug them off as unrealistic. And then starts the debate between the reality of dreams and dreams in reality. Its relative and mysterious, a dream may be the reason for someone to live and "living" may be the reason for someone to dream. Dreams unveil hidden emotions and hidden emotions unveil themselves in dreams.

Dreams are probably the most mysterious realities of life, ironic but true. The word dream may refute realism but its connection to life goes beyond any other reality. Perhaps we are made to believe in the incongruency of dreams since childhood,perhaps in due course of time we start overlooking the deepest and closest experience we've had since birth, perhaps we choose to ignore obvious facts, perhaps because they are too obvious and obvious joy has become unacceptable to us.Perhaps!
I feel the closest to myself when I dream. Doesnt everybody else too? Dreams give us hope,beauty,wonder and joy. And the best part is they are easy to feel! Something that can be felt with such ease can possibly be lived with equal ease. Maybe we choose not to believe in the ease of dreams coming true.Maybe!
There are millions of unanswered questions,events and miracles in this universe. Things we explore and know about,things we're ignorant and would probably never know about, physical and metaphysical, its infinite!
I find solace in these dreams,
Dreams so true,dreams so pure,
Dreams that want me to believe in more,
Dreams that have been with me like a loyal friend since the begining of time,
Dreams that I share and others that are only mine :) :)

Saturday, August 14, 2010

................

Havent dared to ever write about this....something thats still a mystery,wonder if there are people who understand this,if its just a mirage or theres more to it,if these are just glamorized theories by novels and movies or if theres a deeper meaning to it.
But when its a special day like today,when you feel liberated and free,when you touch your basic roots and are grateful for all the things you have, you need to take a plunge and wade out of your fears.

Its so intimidating to expect,to give in,to give up,to let anyone reach that part of you which you've fiercely protected all your life.We create barriers even in our head to save ourselves from getting hurt and wander aimlessly trying to figure out whats missing even when everything is so perfect.
Inspite of believing in so many things,inspite of feeling good about life and yourself,inspite of those rosy pictures,theres a void you cant seem to decipher. It touches base with you seldom but when it does the feeling that surges is undefinable. This uncertainty intensifies the emotion more and you suddenly roll back to your first day at school,when everything was new and hazy,when you were trying to grapple and make sense of what lies ahead of this. Remember holding on to Moms hand like letting go off it would be the end of the world for you?

Its this mist that you desperately want to walk past, a mist that makes you vulnerable and arouses unfelt intense emotions.Questions which can only be answered by time and experience, and clamor that can be quietened only by faith. Acknowledging and accepting that part of you is a challenge, its easy to accept yourself with the flaws and beauties in you, but accepting a gaping hole is a struggle because you dont really know whats missing.

Its larger than life, its overwhelming,its unseen, its unfelt and its swept me into territories I fear the most......as it does to everyone every once in a while...........when you hold on to your faith like letting go of it would mean the end of world to you.........

Friday, August 13, 2010

MeMoRiEs :)

Cuddling up in moms arms, trotting by Dads side early morning for jogs, staring into Enu Nanis wardrobe and struggling to fit into her clothes,holding little Frappe as a puppy :) :) :)
MeMoRies! HoMe wouldnt be home without these MemoRies and life wouldnt be LifE without these meMorIes .

Varnika! Wearing identical clothes,playing ghar ghar for hours and promising to be best friends for life :) :) Holding hands all the time in school and fighting with people for each other :) :)
The word Best Friend wouldnt mean the same without these MemoRies and School wouldnt be the same without these Memories. :)

Hearing that voice for the first time through a crowd of people and the craziness that followed, "and tell me".......,the madness and tears, finding an unconditional relationship :) The word "first" wont be the same without these memories and youth wouldnt be the same without these Memories

KArmAkar!:) :) Being taken care of and having a support system when times were tough :) :) The worD brother wouldnt be the same without these MemoRies and faith wouldnt be the same without these Memories.

SIMS ! :) :) The first time I stepped into that campus,nervous and negative about everything around, the times that followed wiped away that negative attitude in such a way that finding it has become impossible :) :) Hostel room with those crazy girls making me laugh till I rolled on the floor, crazy girl talk with Megha, Sonam and Dhriti, plain stupidness with Khuraana, the last day at SIMS when the nostalgia washed over me and for the first time in life I knew that this was a place that defined and sculpted a major part of me. Life wouldnt be the same without these Memories and I wouldnt be the same without these memories.

Memories to cherish, memories that are the reason for our beliefs, memories that keep you moving in uncertainity, memories that are a reason to dream, memories that are a reason for life being a fairytale :) memories that are a reason for just being......and being joyful,vibrant,loyal,considerate,honest and real.....Beautiful Memories!


Monday, August 9, 2010

Words..

I use them every second, maybe as much as I breathe. Awake or asleep, talking or quiet, dancing or singing, playing or thinking, its words that shape my day. It may be just a voice in my head, or a form in my art, but it spins itself around a series of words .

Words that create thoughts, words that help you breathe life into those thoughts, words in your head that flow through your soul to blend into a pose while dancing, words in your heart that are embedded in pages while writing, words that add rhythm to time through music,words that fill space with memories,words that give direction to dreams, words that add depth to your being,words that are a reflection of your real self.

Words. That create history, inspire millions,define religion and record culture. Words that help you get an insight to new notions, give clarity to the clutter in your mind and give you freedom to sculpt your story.Words can paint pictures for you and create a movie out of those pictures.
Words are one of the most beautiful ways to express and emote, they simplify life with spectacular ease.We take them for granted but words are indeed one of the biggest blessings to us. Life would have been like a blank board without words to add color and shimmer it.

"As I sit and stare away into the space,
As time flies away at the blink of an eye in this rat race,
Its words that smoothen my pace and ensure that deep beneath these memories are traced."

Saturday, August 7, 2010

T.H.R.E.S.H.O.L.D

We have been reading about it since ninth grade.Its true meaning however unveils itself slowly as we grow older,wiser and matured. It was just a term in physics that we mugged up and reproduced in exams, an interesting and important one though,there was always one question on it!

It still challenges us at every stage in life when we reach that threshold and once we cross it a change seeps in, a drastic change. The transition phase abruptly gets over and newer territories surround you. Everything feels new, you feel and think differently all of a sudden.

The reason could be small or big, childlike or complicated, intense or mild;but it can push you through that threshold. Everyone experiences it, no one escapes,it touches your life every once in a while and changes its meaning with its presence. Once you're on the other side, it makes you or breaks you, some people decide to compose themselves while others decide to lose without a limit, some fathom and some chose being mindless beyond it, some let go and others hold on, some build bigger things and others break what had been built beautifully after years of labor, some hold on to their faith and realize its importance even more while others just lose it forever...

This nine letter word, T.H.R.E.S.H.O.L.D, is so much more than just nine letters and as we grow older its true meaning unveils itself.....



Tuesday, August 3, 2010

FaCts or FictioN? The flip side of Media!

As I woke up this morning, a strange sad feeling swept over me.The freshers party getting busted started off as a spicy news but turned into a nasty tale. Its horrifying that the media and police, the two most important pillars of this nation have made a mockery out of facts. It is heart breaking to see facts distorted for adding spice to news, the way women are scanned in video clippings to grab eyeballs, the way harmless fun is projected as crime.
The news channels have made an institute tradition look so tawdry and disgusting that it has left me dumbstruck and disillusioned. What do we believe?
Aren't news channels supposed to "report" facts? Who gave them the right to weave stories and telecast fiction out of their imagination?
It sets me thinking of what to believe and accept. If innocent freshers parties make headlines with sleazy clippings, I wonder what is the truth behind other reports we watch.
What is the foundation of our values? Do we even have values? These news channels are not just reporting, they are recording our legacy, the history of this country for generations to come. If this is the truth thats being recorded, then I wish fiction gets an upper hand over any such "so called fact".
This incident has shaken the belief of thousands of students in media. At the end its just a question mark.An illusion. Wish our conscience gets the better of us and the word "belief" doesn't lose its meaning with time. Wish things change, wish we can start believing,wish we break away from this make believe world built by frustrated souls.
Booze,GraSs and SmokE....The slow poison of our infected media will win hands down over the side effects these addictions. .Its millions versus thousands becoming numb.....


Friday, July 30, 2010

"The Dazzles oF PoSiTivE ThinkinG


A friend asked me to help her with this article on positive thinking which happens to be my favorite topic.Now that I'm getting a chance to write about it,I have to thank this wonderful book "Secret" that made me believe in "positive thinking",those wonderful people who reinforced my faith in it and that wonderful luck which kept adding moments making the wonders of this concept a reality for me.

"The vastness of universe is humbling....."

A pictorial representation of the size of earth in this universe is indeed a revelation of our size in it.
There's so much beyond whats visible to us, so much that can be done and experienced. While we waste our life struggling over insignificant issues, while we limit our dreams to convenience, as we succumb to pressures that mislead us from what makes "us" happy and as our individuality sublimates in the chaos of advices and standards we miss out on precious time to create a solid reality out of our wishes.

We make mountains out of anthills over trivial issues like difficult clients, unfair bosses, relationship tiffs, family resistance, spoilt make up and sometimes even wardrobe malfunctions!
Think over the number of times you cribbed the whole day over an argument in office, hours over a "not so flamboyant" dress to wear at a party, months over a guy/girl who didnt love you,the list just goes on.

For once, just look within yourself and decide if you deserved that feeling;of being inadequate, of being unworthy and unloved! The day we start loving ourselves and keep our instincts over every other seemingly right thing, the spectacles of positive thinking will start unfolding.

We can write endlessly about it, but keeping it short and simple, the only way to truly experience the beauty and wonders of life is to unleash your imagination and believe in this small magic capsule of "being positive is The easiest waY to Happiness"

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

magic moments

One of those days again......when I wanted to just go with the flow...and write.....:) :)

These ae my happiest times...when I feel happy from within.......:) :)

The day started off pretty off track, missed a meeting, had a string of late bills to be paid(with no bank balance) and had pathetic food packed in my tiffin.

And then came the magic moments...when everything started falling into place by itself. One call and an hour of girl talk with loads of xo xo's kept me busy while I waited for seniors to finish the client meet, a friend sorted my bill issues and then the best part....gorging on a colleagues tiffin who's Mom is hands down the awesomest cook in the world...

Crux of the mindless write up just happens to be the fact that magic moments cannot be left unnoticed.The smallest and silliest things that happened today may be the magic moment that swayed you off your problems and gave you a happy high! And this happy high kept you going the rest of the day...and each moment...each day....is a reason for the way LiFe realy shapes into...
Live the magic magically! :D
loves! :) :) :)

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Expressions :)

I love you but cant express myself.
Of course I care! I'm just not good at expressing.
I feel strongly about this but somehow cant express effectively.

You spend your life wishing things would be different, you fight your emotions everyday to get over this fear.Of expressions!It could have started new relationships, saved broken ones, strengthened existing ones and ended miserable ones.
We assume that expressing love for parents is not neccesary, they obviously know!But expressing that form of love,so pure so divine!Just like dew drops on that beautiful flower :) ,they add to its beauty manifold.
Expressions add zing and colors to life. A smile, an argument, a pat on the back, a hug, holding hands :) , surprise parties, little gifts, compliments, silly names and so much more. The list is simply endless.
Expressions are threads that weave special moments, moments to cherish and treasure.
Dance to let go and music to connect! !Expression through abstract means hase a charm of its own, it sparkles through void and adds glitter to plain lifeless moments till these moments tune you to "Aicha" :) :) :)

Friday, July 16, 2010

Faith

I cant see it. But I can feel it.

This makes me believe.This give me the strength to smile in tough times.This gives me the courage to dream. Every breath I take is a reinforcement of that faith in infinity;if theres enough for all of us to survive then there has to be enough for all of us to live.

Happiness is still considered a taboo. A mirage. Fought with this notion for a while before I realized the vicious cycle I was falling into. The more I argued, the worse I felt. They wont listen, they love you but they wont listen. You keep convincing.They wont listen. They want you to turn into that puppet who dances to the tunes of society. They say social norms are unfair,they know these rules are set by a group of weak incompetent people to suppress competence, by discontent people who glorify their shortcomings by dressing it with false recognition.That group of weak people which recognizes and lauds anything that shields their inadequacies. This doesnt make them stronger or happier, but it disillusions millions of others who are striving to understand the roots of their existence and discovering the reason of their living.

You!I know you have the courage to break free, I know you are spiritually above these shackles but something holds you back. Others who probably love you the way you love me. Its a chain reaction we are struggling to stop. But the more we struggle the worse it gets. Going with the flow and floating out of it without crackles and clinkers helps, I couldn't get you along but made my way out of it. I cant come back.I love you a lot but I cant come back. Maybe this way of life is a mirage but I enjoy living it up this way. If I had to chose between living hundred years as a coward cribbing over the cruelties of life and one day living ecstatic and free, I would choose the latter.
And even now, this minute,my reason cant be seen, read or defined,

"I cant see it.But I can feel it"


Wednesday, July 7, 2010

This ones for you.....

Years Back I remember writing something for the most important woman of my life,
Had known her before i knew anyone else, have felt her before i felt anything else,a feeling that has stayed with me till date, a feeling that i couldnt have survived without in infancy and cant live without even today.
These days we sometimes behave like strangers.I look at her and see strange emptiness in her eyes.
just wanted you to know that........

As we disagree more than ever before,

As our ideas differ for sure,

The times when I hurt you,

I feel worse.yes thats true,

When I fight over whats right for me,

And try to set myself free,

Deep inside I know this isnt what I want,

Its just being with you that I've craved for even as an infant,

Inspite of the way you look at the things you see,

Believe me Mom, you mean the world to me,

There are things I cant say, there are things I cant express,

but theres this one feeling i cant suppress,

This feeling that I cant define,

Its beyond anything that I've ever wanted to be mine,

Its a love I take for granted for sure,

A love thats so deep and pure,

Its not just about the relationship by birth we share,

Its a woman and a friend from whom I care........




To the most incredible woman ever....Love you Mom!




Sunday, July 4, 2010

The cloud story :)

Mumbai Pune expressway.....a drive through the clouds....three hour movie sorts with breeze telling stories and clouds being pictures......indeed one of the prettiest sights ever!
As we drove through mountains;trees seemed to fly past us, birds glided and clouds danced along. And that one patch where I practically touched the clouds,WOW!!!Almost jumped out of the car in excitement.
The weather gods sure have magical powers. The same expressway is not quite the same in other times as it is in monsoons! The rains make it surreal!
People like me who cant keep their eyes open during journeys.Sigh! We sure miss out on so many beautiful things. But this time! wohoooooo.....I couldn't blink my eyes at certain points...it was almost as if every mountain and cloud shape had a different story to tell. It sure cant be a mere coincidence that clouds are sculpted into such impeccable shapes and designs. Hearts,faces,lovers,child, dinosaur and chariot! There has to be more to these symbols than just a random picture. These are scenes we witness everyday and then up there we see their negatives, waiting to be developed into real life experiences!Mysterious,magnetic and vast! It leaves you awestruck as you delve into its infinite beauty.
There are things I want to treasure,people I want to live with and moments I want to experience all life.So glad that this is one vision that I can admire all my life! It shall only change forms but remain there till we breathe, one of those things I love and am sure to experience forever.....:)

Thursday, July 1, 2010

:)

Wanted to write...just write.....as I would in my diary.....and yet publish it....wanted to know how it feels like to publish a random flow of thoughts and emotions...
Have just woken up. It has been a good morning. I like the weather. Cloudy,breezy and cheery. Feels like home to me :)
One of those days when everything around is perfect.The way it should be.:)

And not holding on any thought helps in letting go.....

Life in Mumbai is like a narration. Wake up.sip tea in leisure/Listen to music.Taxi to office(Thanks to our permanent taxi bhaiya no running around!).An extremely chilly office.Tea again.work.work.work.gymn.home:) and finally a goodnight!

The weekends are either lazy or crazy! Thanks to all those wonderful people who make weekend busier than weekdays! What would I do without you all!:) Love being busy!

As I make a random checklist. Family.Friends.Colleagues.maid.Taxi Bhaiya.Mentors. Thank you so much! You all have made life simple,thank you for being there! And that amazing luck, how can I forget you. Thanks for always being around :) and bringing these awesome people into my life. Its because of you I have them all!

AAhhhhhh...its getting real random now........but had to write something which felt good and whacky and senseless maybe...but then whats the point loving people, life and just everything without expressing it!

And you.Yes You. If you are reading it.Then thanks for reading something that probably doesnt make any sense to you but means the world to me, in fact is my world.

Time to sign off.....office time.The routine starts.Love.