First of all, you're obnoxiously late in finding me. So that makes you quite a bit of a wrong.
Thanks to your being busy with something, which CANNOT be more important than me, I'm doubted of having a secret affair (What am I starring in? A romantic suspense?)/waiting for someone who'll in the end drop me like a hot potato/ thinking a bit too high of myself/ being insensitive/ being completely unrealistic etc etc.
I don't blame anyone for accusing/ doubting/ being exasperated by me. But YOU! I'm angry with you for taking so much time to find me. And Yes! This dramatic hate letter intends to scare you and prepare you for some serious trouble in the coming months. I'm quite tired in my search and have decided to be a bully when I find you.So here's how you'll make up for being late and making me go through this ordeal of family,uncles-aunty's and random people raising eyebrows at my "status quo",
1) You'll read ALL of my blogs, right from the first day that I started writing here and post a comment on EACH one of it. Just in case you think you can get away by glancing through them, not happening ( Talk to the hand)
2)You will either have to buy me gifts worth four months of your salary or give me a cheque equivalent to that. Yes! Money matters. (Straight face, I'm not kidding)
Vini said she wants a gift too because she had to bear with my search and endless stories about a "you" who's imaginary even now. Get real! Cant sustain this saga too long. There's a family drama full throttle happening in the background, that's a tough one to avoid too long.
3) Once you find me, please arrange for an extra cheesy "Be mine" moment. I like all elements of a Yashraj movie and am not apologetic about it. You'll kind of have to live with it.
4) I will be extremely moody,mean,sarcastic and rude to you for sometime. You're at fault for not being able to trace me in this small world and because of that I've had to look like a fool/snob/bad daughter/wierdo more than once in front of more than one person. So I have already earned the ticket to being a brat with you and you've lost the right to stop me from being one.
5) I'm noting this date because the drama in my life is at its peak right now. If I trace your history into having fun (god save you if there was a chick around) in this phase, I'll make your life pretty miserable. I hope you're whining,sulking,weeping and depressed in some corner of the world. Why should I go through the drama alone?
So, Mr.Right, please get real now.I cant explain a non-existent creature (you just earned that crass title) to people without sounding supremely lame. And ya! Read the list again, I wont compromise, either on you or on the list.