Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Just Dont say anything that'll hurt....

"Esha! Just dont say anything that'll hurt.Sometimes noone's right and noone's wrong. Just don't say anything that'll hurt.Let the moment pass.Please...."

We analyze, question,judge and keep judging people all our life, and in the end ...(It doesn't even matter,LP style,for the records :p).Sometimes for our own sake,sometimes for the sake of others and at other times just for the sake of it!


The other day I told M, "You know what? If only we learn to forgive and let go the way Vini and Rustic do, we'd be so much happier. They really give meaning to "forgive and forget".
Yesterday I roped him in for a plan and asked him to invite someone else also before disappearing for 3 hours.Rustic sulked for exactly ten minutes (or was it lesser?) over my behavior and then completely forgot about it. If it was any of us (in fact most people I know) ,we would have held on to it and sulked for hours (or days?:-o). How can anyone behave like this,right??? You can't just make plans and then go absconding!" .
M agreed," We would have made a bigger deal out of it surely. Ego issue precisely."

As for Vini. She has forgiven and forgotten in more ways and more times than I can remember. All I can say is I love her more than ever now.

The point is, do family,friends and relatives, need to prove their loyalty and love all their life? Is it so hard to accept that there would be times when we'd disagree, times when we can't be there for each other, times when they can't make it for a big day ( Maybe your wedding. I dread not having some people by my side that day, but "what if" !!! Will I strip off the "close" title from them if they couldn't make it?)

It bothers me.

Expectations.Ego.Fear. Dammit!

The problem with awesomeness sometimes is the lack of scope for things to get better. When everything in life is perfect, when your expectations are almost always met with, the problem of judging creeps in. When your affection is reciprocated, when you know you're an integral part of the group, you start analyzing and passing judgments at the same people.

Your family,they love you more than you love yourself. You owe them all of you, the security,the confidence,the love(the infinite love) and trust, you owe them all of it. You have it because you know they are there, come what may! You can say it, because they are there, and you know it! You disagree, because you know they'll still love,they'll still forgive, they'll completely forget and you have home to come back to, all your life.

So I learn. From my family. From people like Rustic and Vini. When you love each other, forgive and forget. You may disagree,you may disappoint, you may not be there for each other (sometimes),but once you've loved them, love them forever,without analysis, judgments and questions.

And now every time I feel hurt, let down or angry, a voice whispers,

"Esha! Just dont say anything that'll hurt.Sometimes noone's right and noone's wrong. Just don't say anything that'll hurt.Let the moment pass.Please...."


Khush said...

Good one.

sonam said...

Cudnt agree more ! i love vini too :)

Vinita Punia said...

Thank you Sonam..Love you tooo :)
Dashy I feel honored.Its very nice of you to see the bright side of this characteristic of mine.. There are a few who think otherwise. They believe if one gets into forgetting & forgiving one's self respect is lost. But it depends on person to person.. Getting taken for granted a few times by your family, your best friends, your better half does not necessarily lead to losing your self respect, unless they dont respect you for what you are

nikhil said...

wat man ....sonam u dont love me????
wtf man

Rahul said...

hmmmm.....interesting viewpoint...problem is- as vinita pointed out partly,if you stop having expectations,people will start taking you for granted......and assume you have a lack of self-respect....opinions and perspectives will vary on this thing I learnt in life is,don't expect too much....everyone is much happier that way!!:-)

Madhusha said...

@ Vini and Rahul : I think, having expectations is fair, cos they keep you going and keeps luck coming ure way.People can tk u fr granted only when u let them. The point I'm trying to make is, dont let expectations break your heart or infuriate you if its someone who's otherwise always been around. If its a newbie acting too smart too often, show them the door/ or say OLO( please refer the url for the history and usage of OLO, :-D

Rahul said...

point taken ms.dash...:) btw...OLO aint that cool according to me....;-) i think u have enuf talent in urself to come up with an even better substitute for the proverbial 'middle finger'...:-D

Sridhar Ramachandran said...

the best one till date.. i have taken a copy of this and sent to a 'close' friend of mine, who had deleted.. forget close but friend too..

and it is olo don't spoil it by writing OLO.. i know i am talking as if its my creation, it ain't but i appreciate a good one!!

Madhusha said...

@sridhar: thanks...and it means the same u know...change the caps lock doesn't change the symbol :p

Exciting Songs (ES) said...

I am ready to forgive and forget, if others would not keep committing the same offense again and again. What can one do in such situations?

Madhusha said...

People who repeat the offense? If they offend you ( and not hurt you) should be shown the door. Don't let thm be in your circle at all i guess. Not that I'm an expert at this, but i think such people are the grey (negative character sorts you know ;-D ) in your story.
Ignore them, be bitchy, what else? No senti-maantal reaction to weird offensive ppl please!

Madhuresh said...

Our family and our close friends... inevitably we owe them a lot of love and trust... very nicely written... thanks!