Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Cheat Not: Get a Brain

I was reading a blog post on cheating today and just couldn't stop my fingers from typing.Aaah, No! I'm not the compulsive insecure types, perpetually haunted by the word cheating.On the contrary, you may cheat right under my nose and I might not even notice.
Anyway,If there are two women (if not more) someone is attracted to, at the same time, 'he is' to say the least, a real indecisive jerk. And indecisive men, take laziness,selfishness and stupidity to a different level altogether. (Rolling eyes) Can't decide which one you like more ?(Smirk) Get a brain!
Now I think, Casanova's (honest Casanova's that is :-p) are way better than cheaters. They are not committed and say so. When they finally get into a serious relationship,they remain committed,mostly.Otherwise they qualify for the disgusting indecisive jerks category (for the records).In my eyes, Casanova's are an Okay bunch. They think less, have fun and are happy- go-lucky. When they finally fall in love, they really make the relationship meaningful.Hence,I vote for the category of men who've been there, done that and finally settled with who they think is "the one" for them. These men, are sure of what they want,respect their choices and stick to their decisions. That's desirable (Thinking deeply) Okay wait. I'm not promoting Casanova's.It's just a thought.
Getting back to the point,who wants to be cheated upon? I mean, unless you suffer dementia and visit the shrink every week or maybe are made up of some alien matter. If I fall for a guy, who says he loves me and ends up getting attracted to Ms.Somebody else,it would be excruciating. The humiliation would come for free and to add cherry to the cake you realize your judgment was also wrong. Its very very shallow, but the only way I can forgive cheating would be …maybe cheat back. But then the whole purpose of falling in love gets defeated.
Contrary to the eye-rolls die-hard love gets these days, I still believe, when it comes to relationships, its necessary to madly,unconditionally and passionately fall in love.That kind of love leaves no space for anyone else. Its one person occupying all your brain space along with other "important" things. Not random "others".Its difficult to feel that kind of a crazy emotion but 'SO Worth it'!
1) You either settle-in for a boring mundane relationship where mind-games,ego issues and arguments lead you to cheating.(If that's the movie my life was going to turn into, I'd rather get up in the intermission and leave the theater)
2) Madly,unconditionally, passionately and crazily fall in love with that one person who could occupy your brain space and refused to budge. The kind of a chick flick where they lived happily-ever-after.(If its my life, I'd prefer the anticipation throughout the plot and watch the movie till the end when the girl tip-toes, kisses the hero and bingo! The frog turns into prince charming)

I mean, I'd want to turn the 'frog into prince charming' over turning 'prince charming into a frog' who hops around cheating.

So how about sparing yourself the stress from thinking,analyzing and worrying?Its okay to be an emotional zombie till that spark is strong enough to block distractions

Oh did I forget, cheating is pretty downmarket. And also, stressful. No?

Cheat Not:Get a Brain!

Friday, November 18, 2011

Its Weekend and you aren't Parttttying????!!! (Tch Tch)

Friday Evening, 6 pm.

I typed that last email of the week to a client when it dawned upon me that I had nowhere to go after office. Normal people work on weekdays and chill on weekends,but Mumbai people party on weekdays, party more on weekends and slyly the word party sneaks into your sleeves like a tiresome bug.

You walk past people in coffee shops, malls, elevators,office and simply can't miss the oh so routine, "Hey! Of course we'll 'party' this weekend ya." Now before you start thinking here's a loony idiot from some small town dissing Mumbai lifestyle, lemme clarify, I totally love Mumbai.

But the growing craze of "partttying" is becoming, ehhh (clearing throat), a little taxing. As soon as Wednesday knocks your door, it brings along with it, status messages,text messages and conversations,everything revolving around the same la di freaking da question, "Whats the plan for the weekend??"

Dammit!I have no plans this weekend! I'm a little lonely girl in a little lonely matchbox sized house in Mumbai typing away to glory (thinking, she'll be the next big name in the writers world. Sneer ! Beat that!). Houses in this city are really tiny,you'd get a mansion for the same price at other parts of the country, but its a different ballgame in Mumbai. I love the place anyway. Don't ask why! I just love this city for some crazy reason even I'm yet to figure.

Getting back to the point, earlier I used to dread weekends for the party overdose.The kind of parties where they play trance music, a crowd of drunk weirdos( whoa! Don't get me wrong, I'm not anti-drinking. Happy high and crazy fun is something I totally love. Even girls getting drunk and standing on tables swinging their heads from side to side like Kailash Kher is kind-of okay.And if you can pull off the stunt like Priyanka Chopra in Anjaana Anjaani, then its cute actually).But here, drunk people just swing in slow motion and go WOOOOHHOOOOOO in gaps. I've caught people yawning on the dance floor and suddenly screaming an excited wooooohoooo out of nowhere. That startles me. Excuse me! What the hell do you think you're doing? Adding surprise elements to this sedative party?
These parties are boring but bearable to put it mildly.
What makes the word "partying" agonizing is its transition into a fun-o-meter (I cooked up the word. It means something that measures your fun quotient)
Its considered uncool to be at home alone on weekends.
I like acting pricey when people want me to join them and I "chose" to stay home and relax.But when you have no choice but to stay home and "relax", you feel,ummm,restless. A sympathetic friend might even blink at you with the "aww you poor thing look" to make things worse.
I know it sounds "high- school-ish"? As if its such a big deal!
Even I thought so till I made an observation, not only about my own behavioral pattern but a majority of others around me. Random people made "plans" for the weekend to make it happening. The days that followed were full of nonsensical banter and gossip. Men talking about hot chicks they spotted and women talking about clothes,bags,make-up and the b*&*h who was being rude.
Hell! Now since when did that become fun! Since when did that become "partying".

Letting your hair down and dancing to music of your choice, conversations with people you adore and plans with like-minded enthusiasts you enjoy with. Stuff that fills the next few days with fond memories of time well-spent is my idea of a "real party".

Partying just because its weekend?? Damn! Something wrong there.

Today evening, I almost dialed a number to make a "plan" because I had no other "plan" when I realized, Shucks! I'm infected by this virus.This virus which screams,

"Its weekend and you aren't Pardddyyying!!!" (Tch tch)

Sunday, November 6, 2011

Touching the Quarter Mark!


In less than 5 months you'll turn 25! Can't stop dreaming of 'you at 25'! You're my inspiration to rebel today, you know?Rebel with a cause.

Have you finally gotten rid of that paunch? Tell me you're wearing an uber-hot black dress and posing for pictures without sucking in your tummy. That kind of spoils your smile,you know?I mean, you either smile pretty at the camera's or concentrate on hiding the paunch right?

Is your frizzy hair now long and glossy? Remember that 'wavy hair look' you've been dying to attain for months? Hope you've tamed your hair to fall on your face just the right way instead of flying all over the place making you look like a homeless pauper.

How was the party?Did you throw a proper birthday party this year? Don't disappoint people by feeling tired right before it begins like last year.They take pains planning and you fall sick on D-Day(How do you manage such fiasco's?). If you again made people go dutch then I'll refuse to acknowledge you as an extension of me. Its uncool. You don't want more jokes about this, do you? Imagine being called Esha-The Cheapstake or people exclaiming, "Shit its her birthday, loss mein jaana padega.!!!" (Aww Baby!Don't blush! Shit Happens.)

I hope you've cut your birthday cake with Mr.Right by your side and the first quarter life hug was from him. Our family loves him as much as you do, ya? You must be a wealthy woman with all that money/gifts as per the deal. Ahaan Ahaan! Rich girl! I like that.

Have you started freelancing again? Please tell me I was able to gift you the title of being a "Freelance Writer" this birthday. Wow! That would be awesome.Hope your words have the kind of honesty/sincerity as I always envision you to have. Never let anything, I mean ANYTHING, change the ease with which you write. Although I know your love for sharing it has been consistently growing as it gets acknowledged, promise me you'll never let anything external influence your style and thoughts. This is our precious gift, it defines us.We'll keep it straight from the soul. All our life.

Hey just remembered!What happened to the Canada trip? The embassy thought you're gonna marry an NRI and settle in Kannneddda.( Please embassy! I know our country is paranoid about marriage but our generation has better dreams than sneaking into a Phhoreign country and finding a boy to marry there) (Like Really!!!! Rolling eyes)
Hope you've managed to get that god damned Visa and visited Canada before touching the quarter mark. Singapore or Dubai should work fine if the Canadian (read Cana- Daayan) embassy doubts your intentions even now.

You started volunteering for an NGO ya? If you haven't given them 'time' then give them some money, skip a branded bag/shoes/dress and do a good deed instead. You anyway know zilch about brands, wannabee. Let the three girl friends and EnuNani compensate for that void in your life.

Esha. Trust you've made me proud this birthday. I'm praying everyday that you have; because this birthday would define so many other birthdays of our life.

Remember, even if you goofed up somewhere, its okay. Keep those dreams alive, you'd be so incomplete without them. Even if you got disappointed or hurt, don't lose faith. Shit happens sometimes, right? . Promise me, you haven't let go off any of 'my' dreams and have a brand new set to look forward to for yourself.

Wish you welcome 25 with exuberance and tell me, "You were right. We did it. We made Mom Dad proud. I am a reality created of your dreams (La-Di-Dah)" :-)

Wishing all of this and so much more.....


Esha (5 months from meeting you)