Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Cheat Not: Get a Brain

I was reading a blog post on cheating today and just couldn't stop my fingers from typing.Aaah, No! I'm not the compulsive insecure types, perpetually haunted by the word cheating.On the contrary, you may cheat right under my nose and I might not even notice.
Anyway,If there are two women (if not more) someone is attracted to, at the same time, 'he is' to say the least, a real indecisive jerk. And indecisive men, take laziness,selfishness and stupidity to a different level altogether. (Rolling eyes) Can't decide which one you like more ?(Smirk) Get a brain!
Now I think, Casanova's (honest Casanova's that is :-p) are way better than cheaters. They are not committed and say so. When they finally get into a serious relationship,they remain committed,mostly.Otherwise they qualify for the disgusting indecisive jerks category (for the records).In my eyes, Casanova's are an Okay bunch. They think less, have fun and are happy- go-lucky. When they finally fall in love, they really make the relationship meaningful.Hence,I vote for the category of men who've been there, done that and finally settled with who they think is "the one" for them. These men, are sure of what they want,respect their choices and stick to their decisions. That's desirable (Thinking deeply) Okay wait. I'm not promoting Casanova's.It's just a thought.
Getting back to the point,who wants to be cheated upon? I mean, unless you suffer dementia and visit the shrink every week or maybe are made up of some alien matter. If I fall for a guy, who says he loves me and ends up getting attracted to Ms.Somebody else,it would be excruciating. The humiliation would come for free and to add cherry to the cake you realize your judgment was also wrong. Its very very shallow, but the only way I can forgive cheating would be …maybe cheat back. But then the whole purpose of falling in love gets defeated.
Contrary to the eye-rolls die-hard love gets these days, I still believe, when it comes to relationships, its necessary to madly,unconditionally and passionately fall in love.That kind of love leaves no space for anyone else. Its one person occupying all your brain space along with other "important" things. Not random "others".Its difficult to feel that kind of a crazy emotion but 'SO Worth it'!
1) You either settle-in for a boring mundane relationship where mind-games,ego issues and arguments lead you to cheating.(If that's the movie my life was going to turn into, I'd rather get up in the intermission and leave the theater)
2) Madly,unconditionally, passionately and crazily fall in love with that one person who could occupy your brain space and refused to budge. The kind of a chick flick where they lived happily-ever-after.(If its my life, I'd prefer the anticipation throughout the plot and watch the movie till the end when the girl tip-toes, kisses the hero and bingo! The frog turns into prince charming)

I mean, I'd want to turn the 'frog into prince charming' over turning 'prince charming into a frog' who hops around cheating.

So how about sparing yourself the stress from thinking,analyzing and worrying?Its okay to be an emotional zombie till that spark is strong enough to block distractions

Oh did I forget, cheating is pretty downmarket. And also, stressful. No?

Cheat Not:Get a Brain!


Preeti Baruah said...

Cheaters ko laaath maro!!

TheBluntBlogger said...

If someone is cheating in a relationship, there is more to it than just the cheater, be it a female or male. Men cheat for fun, women cheat when they have serious issues...and I have seen partners who cheat, still forgive and move on, very few though....

Sridhar Ramachandran said...

but what if the one u fall head over heels in love with cheats on you??
probably the whole idea should be to fall in love with the person who is head over heels in love with you.. but what if the that person also thinks like u and says 'i will love the person who is truly madly deeply in love with me' who will take the risk first?? or who will end up cheating the other person or more damagingly cheating themself??

Madhusha said...

@sridhar: I have no answer to that. I somehow think the love needs to be 1)mutual 2)If two ppl reli look upto to eachother and love/respect eo to a degree where they think there's no one who can match up to the way they are attracted to the one they have...i wonder wheres the scope of cheating left. Maybe esoteric, but then on secnd thoughts,maybe practical too.

Rahul Bhatia said...

Those who cheat in love are not worth having been loved in first place and it is having made wrong choice in life! Trust begets trust..

xyzandme said...

Very well written. But there is more to it than what meets the eye. What classifies as cheating? Why does a person cheat?
On the facevalue its easy to say that "cheaters" dont deserved to be loved et al.

@bluntblogger's comment:

True there is more to it than just the cheater.But I would so disagree with your stance on " men cheat for fun"

Madhusha said...

@bluntblogger abd xyzandme: I agree, there's more to cheating, its some kind of a need for 'more' i think, dissatisfaction in the relationship u r in. And have I mentioned men cheat for fun? Maybe it implies somewhere, no that's absolutely not what i meant. Casanova's have more than one woman in their life for fun.
commited men cheating is an entirely diff ballgame. And yes, even women cheat, for the same reasons.
@Rahul: Agreed.99% cases its true

Rinaya said...

well a person cheats only when they find their partner lacking in some trait...i.e. they don't think their partner is perfect..so it raises this question in my mind...when in love is it a compulsion that you should at all times appear perfect before your partner?Wasn't it about 2 imperfect people being perfect together?

Madhusha said...

@Rinaya: Ummm...honestly....i think, cheating, any kinds, physical or mental, is some kind of a need for more. It is disrespectful and humiliating for the other person.
People have issues with each other, 'always'. This stands true for even friends and family. BUT some relationships are 'indispensable'. Like your family and 'some' frends.
In an amorous relationship, commmit when you "feel" someone becomes 'indispensable'. That indispensable person, even with their issues and imperfections, should be valued AND respected. Perfect is just a word and very individual specific. SO. I think,perfect would be an indispensable person and one better think twice before letting such a person down.
And SO, Cheat not, Get a brain :D

pallavi said...

we cannot just change someone's mind but at least can try and make them realize that they are wrong... well...it depends in what way... its upto you...! ;)