Phew! Mom again hung up on me with her usual ranting on how all girls are "settling down" (yaaaaaaaaaawwwwwwn) and while everyone will live happily ever after, poor me will hold wedding gowns and be the bridesmaid in every wedding as people get hitched. (27 dresses sorts) (On second thoughts,if Mr.Right is as hot as the one in 27 dresses, then drooooooool, who minds being the damsel in distress for sometime!)
While I sulk about Mr.Right being an idiot of the highest order, I confess, my otherwise awesome family becomes unnervingly seriousssss when it comes to marriage. They turn into characters from Saas-Bahu serials where women have flaring noses when angry and suddenly go teary the next minute AND suddenly go normal AND suddenly go emotional and blah blah. Its not just them, its a #sociopedemic#(:p)
SO. I feel like hurling stones and abuses at the cruel Indian society for devising a trend where girls feel centenarian before time. While I'd like to be my age, youthful,carefree and plain awesome,"Well-wishers-with-experience" appear making me feel like an "Oh-my-god-24-plus-year-old" aunty,ehhh,girl i mean.
People,I mean well-wishers-with-experience,"I know that Life mein compromise karna padta hai", but its unfair to make me feel like a creaky, aging-at-the-speed-of-light-aunty, ALREADY!" In my head, I feel monumental sometimes. You ask my age, and pat I might go, 50!!!!! (sniff)
My otherwise progressive, uber-cool-chic-Mom, turns into Jaya Bacchhan from K3G when it comes to marriage, "Keh diya, Bas Keh Diya" ,talk to the hand gesture and then bangs the phone! Ehh.....Excuse me?
My sister. Very modern and free hai jee. BUT. Her breezy youthful mind turns doddery as soon as it detects the word 'marriage'. THERE, my gorgeous idol,just changed her team!(sniff sniff)
Now,now.I louuuveeee all the attention you give me and get me (wink) but then come-onnnn, I deserve to feel youthful(with-time-on-my-side) for some more time,No?? Maybe;just a thought, but maybe, I ACTUALLY turn into a big-time columnist. Come-onnn, now don't say, marry a rich guy and write a column for a magazine that's circulated within 100 people.Ok if he's THAT rich and smart, maybe 1000.Ok 2000.That's it!
The point being, a 24 year old,is meant to blow her earnings shopping, buy a 'car that turns junk in a year', party till wee hours, travel to her hearts fullest,have crazy over-the-top dreams and fall in love with the right guy *without any compulsion*(Tall-guy-short-girl romance,love at first sight, I'll give up anything for you kinds, ahhaaann,now THAT's my story!)
No arranged fraaaandships turned into love-ships please.Only love-ship, 'at first sight preferably'.
Now,Mr.Right and I will obviously meet very soon, and it'll click. But what if I've already turned into a '24-yet-over-the-hill" kind-of-a woman by the time we meet? I'll talk about life and beyond with him?My future career plans.Would you like to do frandship,pleeejjhh?? I can even cook.What am I best at? Maggi.AND YOU????! Dammit.
This great Indian marriage saga has been going on for a while now.(aaarghhh) So long, that I now conk off the minute the tune starts.
Oh! By the way! Is it true that once your Dad retires, your desirable-o-meter goes down???Lmao! I might die laughing at this one. WHO are these men and families? Who thinks in these lines? I would like to give them the "archaic-sissy-men-who-deserve-a-kick-on-their-butt"award and also write a letter to god requesting for vamp-type brides for them.
My other letter?? Would be to cupid.Begging him to design my dhinchak filmy moment asap,with masaala-but-no-drama torrid affair followed by parents giving blessings "like karan johar movies" , friends throwing "hollywood chick-flick type pre-marriage party" and of course well-wishers c'O'mmenting on how beautiphoool our kids would look.
But till that happens, plisssss,plissssssss,pliiiiiiiiiiiiisssssssssssssssssss,Don't make me feel so old!!!I'm just 24 (sob sob)