Saturday, December 10, 2011

We never came alone and we'll never really know if we leave alone.....

A friend has been plagued by self-doubt lately.One of the most jovial people I knew back in college, always surrounded by a bunch of ardent listeners who'd crack up at every line he spoke.Someone almost always seen in a group and may I add seemed to be the heart of it.The same person today, has been rejecting himself and seems to be on the verge of slipping out of his character stealthily as if the past was a cameo role he'd played. It started with a break up for him which grew into some weird depressing aura that extends to everyone now.
I haughtily wanted to roll eyes at that but he put it across with such sincerity that it got me thinking instead.

“We come into the world alone and leave it alone yet seek companionship,Why?"

We come alone and leave it alone. The next time someone says this, twist their arm(Get violent with the rumor monger)! The belief in this immensely popular statement needs a brain-check. REALLY!
Right from conception, we've been intimately connected to our Mother (physically and emotionally), left the ethereal womb only to be in the safe havens of a doctor’s arms. We have needed intimacy (and I'm not talking about only sexual intimacy) to ameliorate since birth.
As you grow older, the physical shore-up might not be necessary but emotionally, we ALL need support,closeness, comfort and warmth, that familiar feeling of "belonging" to be wholesome and to experience the grandest version of "ourselves".

I feel disheartened to see that friend losing faith in camaraderie and thinking he's someone no-one can really like, once he starts being himself,that is. He pretty much seems to be heading the Devdas path (rolling eyes), the sorts who stop believing in people completely and think LP way is the way the way to be! I could almost hear Numb playing in the background, " I'm tired of being what you want me to be .........bleh bleh bleh....All I want to be is be more like me and be less like you...bleh bleh bleh" (Oh! I think its a great track by the way. Just for the records)

Relationships are like elixir, they can touch and heal us in the worst of our times, we need them to blossom and our individuality is accentuated by them. It’s cruel to be ungrateful and aloof towards people who value us. But it’s even more cruel (to yourself) to brood over what didn't click and people who don't don't value you. Sometimes wonderful people can make us restless, it’s maybe the role they’re playing at that point of time, which doesn't fit into the big picture. I’ve felt angry with certain people at some point of time and adored the same people at other times in a different role. It’s just the role and timing, dammit! Don’t discard the magic of amity because of some delusional claptrap in past.

While I love staring into the horizon ‘alone’ most of the times, while “me-time” is almost like a truss that holds me from gloaming, I understand and accept that some things are beyond ‘me’. Its awe-so-‘me’ to be a strong individual but loony to disregard the beauty of companionship, life can never be experienced to its fullest without somebody close enough to hear that whisper, catch that tear, consume that smile and dream your dream.

We intuitively need that connection, familiarity, love and respect to flourish.

We seek companionship because the fact is ‘we never came alone and we’ll never really know if we leave alone…….’


Sridhar Ramachandran said...

Ahem!!!it really does feel good to be liked!! :)
i know the person you are talking about!! and i bet he is listening!! may be a muffled right now and not picking up but definitely will come around!!
and btw stop stealing my followers..!! :p

♫♪♥PhilO♥♪♫ said...

We all need companions. Nicely said :)

JAY said...

Hi Madhusha.. Landed here from Blogjunta..

Do we not grow up to understand that we are spiritual beings experiencing a human life and not the other way around?

The search for truth and the path to make peace with oneself is always done alone. Guess, its meant to be tat way..

Lemme knw if I make any sense.

Anonymous said...

Very Nice.. aptly said!

Madhusha said...

@phillow: Thnaks:)
@Jay : Thats exactly where I'm coming from, the whole spirituality angle....but read more into it, and it boils down to a theory that maybe the whole soul theory also emerges from having "one soul and everyone being a part of it"
I mean its intuitively that we need companionship. Its kind of wierd to be alone. And NO. I'm not talking about dependency. Once you figure out what "you" want to do and are in peace with yourself (which is without a doubt an irreplaceable need) , it becomes neccesary to have similar people to share it with.
It makes the whole process enriching and fulfilling. And as spiritual beings also, we were never alone I feel,since the time we "know" of existence or even metaphysical existence, there's always the mention of a connection.
THAT is the connection I'm talking about.and THAT connection is companionship.
@Vineet: Thanks. :)

Red Handed said...

"Relationships are like elixir, they can touch and heal us in the worst of our times"
Great post

Madhusha said...

Thank u :)

Adi Crazy said...

How true! I find it strange when today - in the age of massive social networking obligations - people still declare that they are lonely or worse, prefer to be lonely than get hurt later.

All of us need companionship, our dose and/or requirement might differ, that's it.

Loved, loved, loved your blog. I'll see you around :)

Madhusha said...

Hey Adi! Thank you so much. And the feeling is mutual. absolutely loved your blog.Specially the post on music!Wonderful wonderwall :)

RJ said...


rahul said...

keep them coming!

Madhuresh said...

One of the best I've read so far!

Madhusha said...