Sunday, February 19, 2012

On sex and the city

I woke up this morning to Dee's message." Guys, I can so relate to the characters in SATC, they're a lot like us" (I'm not a huge fan of sitcoms and don't really keep a track of them.SATC,is like a complete no-no for me. However,thanks to my friends I know the characters in these sitcoms more than the characters at my workplace. :-p)

Okay.Before I confuse you with making this post seem like a smart-ass comparison between my friends and the show, lemme clarify it deals with 'Sex and the city', literally.
Off late I've realized we (most of us I mean) have a skewed outlook towards sexuality. To an extent, that even marriage is advocated for legitimate sex (headsmack).
Don't get me wrong, I'm not advocating promiscuity. I'm just trying to draw parallels between the contradiction of our culture and practices. On one hand we epitomize spirituality, on the other hand we practice the exact opposite of it. While we talk a lot about soul, when it comes to relationships, we succumb to perceived practical issues .
Marriage has a lot to do with amorous feelings BUT we'd like to portray it as a K serial episode, where the story revolves around "sanskaari" boy-girl/family union. Somehow, "I'm not attracted" is not considered a good enough excuse to say no. I ask, why? Pliss?? Can you give me one good reason as to Why attraction should be last in the list? Don't most cases of infidelity stem from attraction?


Also,women are assumed to be needy and vulnerable. The provocateurs of this typecast are specimens ranting about being used after break-ups. Used-aaaaarghhh! I never understand this. How is one party getting used in anything that has mutual consent?
Getting-used-alert specifically to women perplexes me. Men don't get attached, is it?

I feel, women need to stop looking at themselves as sex-objects. At some level, intimacy has been confused with exploitation and that I think, causes insecurities leading to deep-rooted ego issues and mud slinging.Stupid, very stupid.

Women are protected from making mistakes with an intensity, that's humiliating, if you ask me. Are we plastic barbies who'd be broken into pieces if the wrong boy picks it up? (Eye-rolls)

The reason I love my friends is the way they celebrate their existence. The pride they take in accepting their flaws and the burning will with which they turn those flaws into beauties. Women who love without boundaries and are yet prepared for the worst. Who've never let their self-esteem get hurt by any kind of issues. My lovely ladies. Yes. You can relate to any character from any goddamned sitcom of this world but the fact that you nurture your being with heads held high-honestly,sincerely and soulfully,makes me want to create a sitcom out of your crazy-characters! :)

This one's for all women who make me proud and men who accentuate the beauty of such women with their depth and understanding.

Cheers~~~ To many more silly messages and brighter days!

And as for Sex and the city~~~~~~ You need better tuning. Really!


Rashmi said...

amazing post eesha...

DeEpAK KaRtHiK (420) said...

Accepting flaws must be appreciated :)
many won't accept it..
DEE ?? who is that another dee ?

Raphael said...

yay for mentioning the need of self respect in women. most of us are so obsessed with how attractive/unattractive we may be to men, we forget to be happy and love ourselves.

as for sex and the city, it was sometimes get OTT when it comes to the sex part. but i do enjoy it when the ladies get together and hang out for a friendly chat =)

Red Handed said...

"Women are protected from making mistakes with an intensity, that's humiliating, if you ask me. Are we plastic barbies who'd be broken into pieces if the wrong boy picks it up? (Eye-rolls)"

I LOVE SATC!! Million hearts!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

sailorbwoi said...

hey kewl stuff...however may i present da view of da opposite sex..i feel tht sex n da city actually portrays a group of very strong women who use their most efective weapon 2 rule da world-seduction-i mean they always get even wid da guys rite..i say bring out an attractive woman whos ready 2 use her charm on men n rest assured most of da straight men of this world wld fall prey 2 it...nt tht da women r 2 blame..i say tht v men encourage it..sexuality happens 2 b a womans strongest weapon cause v succumb 2 it!!!n i say we LIKE submitting 2 it!!!however gross or offensive u may find it da truth is dat v guys r really attractd 2 women who assert their sexuality...n history stands witness 2 this fact...remember anar kali who shook da very foundations of da mughal world???hell she gt a son 2 go 2 war against his father!!!...remember cleopatra?? jus cause she ws sleepin wid da romans dsnt mean tht she thot da romans were sexually exploiting her...she ws very conscious of her sexuality n threw it in da face of da romans...n rather, she stood by n watchd while the rulers of the most powerful kingdom in da then known world - Rome- came n went!! thn y shld it b wrong if sum women recognize this power n make use of it??deep down v MCPs like da idea of women bein sexually strong n independent...n again da idea of being sexually available n independent bein blaspehmous 2 spirituality is quite ws in da old old days tht da church advocated tht unlawful fornication ws a punishable sin tht wld earn da guilty a very assured n permanent place in hell..well they also said tht women were witches, tht da earth ws da center of the universe n nyone who dared 2 travel beyond da edge of da oceans wld fall in2 oblivion!!!classic bullshit!!spirituality, frm wot ive heard, is da state of da mind being at ease wid da rest of the is supposed 2 b evrythin n opinion might be a bit pagan bt a person who feels at peace by bein sexually active mite be on a different spiritual path...i mean do u sincerely believe tht by depriving urself of the things u like ul achieve spiritualism???m nt really in2 spiritualism bt m pretty sure there isnt ny sure shot formula for bein spiritual...also if v assume tht da idea of a "soulmate" existing in this world is true, n is very "spiritual", thn y is it tht u really really try ur best 2 make da soulmate ur mate???even if u settle wid nothr guy it wldnt make ny difference wld it???mebbe marryin da soulmate is a wrong idea cause da institution of marriage mite knock down n screw da strongest of 'soul'-mates :D lastly yes women do claim after break ups tht theyve been used n stuff. bt instead of doin a post mortem into their psyche if u wld jus cut em sum slack n understand tht its jus anger n hurt exploding in ny possible way, u wld realise tht instead of considering themselves as sexually exploited beings da women of 2de r really amazingly conscious bout their sexual prowess n da undeniable power it holds over men.

ps: most common cause of infidelity is relationship dissatisfaction...cut us ugly bastards some slack!!

Madhusha said...

@rashmi:Thanks :)
@Deepak:Lol....dee is one of my best frends..hahhaa
@ Red : :-D :-)

Madhusha said...

@Sailorbwoi: Woaa...Can I say tht m floored by ure comment?
ANd if I read ure comment and re-read it and re-re-read it, we're both on the same side. I'm trying to make the exact same point. *Depriving yourself* for spiritualim is absolutely not what I'm trying to say. The spirituality part doesn't imply condemning sexuality but the fact that you "don't" feel attracted to everyone who's *otherwise attractive and great maybe* and there's no particular reason for a woman/man to feel/not feel that way.
So, when ure reli connected to a person *maybe* there's a soul angle to it (*I think*)
The whole post is just an assertion of the fact that women should allow themselves to do things that "feel right" without subjecting themselves to this feeling of victimization because we're stronger than that. Making a few mistakes should be okay and people should stop being paranoid about those mistakes. You *can* easily get over mistakes, if they are *just* mistakes. If you know what I mean.
Promiscuity or randomness creates confusion. A lot of confusion. (*its a sign of insecurity towards attachment*)
Also, infidelity is relationship dissatisfaction, and in a relationship u *really need* to be attracted and that's very important.Also, its just a feeling, u don't have reasons for it,right?
Weighing jobs/stature etc. is okay in a marriage, but then so is the attraction factor which is really not considered valid by our society. Skewed.

Thanks for dropping by :)

Madhuresh said...

Brilliant stuff! .. and an equally good comment by 'Sailorbwoi'... Kudos to both of you for such a fair analysis.

Sridhar Ramachandran said...

@ sailor bwoy : a very interesting comment! agree on most of ur views but don't think infidelity needs to be given any consideration! be it relationship dissatisfaction! if you are dissatisfied.. then get out or work on it! not work on someone else!
@ Madhusha: true marriage is often concieved as a license to have sex.. probably beacuse of the double standards we may keep right through our history.. take it - in the land where kamasutra originated today sex is considered a taboo and not an art! and yeah its true 'an independent, working and well dressed women' today is considered open for a physical relationship (sex objects) but here i think both are equally to be blamed as there are many who think being libereated is being able to get in bed with some one with out taking permission.. now thats where the noble thought of a free - liberated world gets dented!