Saturday, March 24, 2012

Love,24

Hey!

Nice meeting you :)

So you're gonna take care of Esha this year, ya? I managed to get in tune with that crazy confused girl last year. She keeps saying it was the best year of her life. Yes.
She's happy to have met you just the way she wanted to, just the way she thought she'd meet you, just the way she thought you'd be, she would be. Without the paunch :D, without the frizz :D and a lot of things and people to love :)

O btw! We didn't make people pay at the birthday party this time.Yesssss. :D

Going abroad has been postponed for a few months.I couldn't take her anywhere in five months. Errrrr. But anyway, I'm sure you'll take her around a few beautiful places and countries this year. Yes? Yes.

I found Protsahan for Esha. And she's mighty thrilled with the magical effect it has on her. She keeps telling me that her capacity to love and believe has increased by leaps and bounds after it touched her life:)

Listen.Make sure everything I gifted her only grows better with time. Ensure she doesn't lose her connection with you.

I want you to make sure that you take care of her and guide her through ups and downs the way I did.You know what? I have a feeling, you have a lot more awesomeness in store for her this year. It would be the most memorable year of her life.Her life till now, that is. I just have a feeling.

I taught her to stop thinking and analyzing. I taught her to 'live' and 'soak-in' moments. I taught her to stop judging and accept even the negative emotions in her. Don't try to turn her into a saint. Not yet. She's too young to give up on jealousy, bitchy-ness, gossip, selfishness and this perpetual need to be loved. She has flaws, let her get over them at her own pace. Don't be harsh on her, please. Please.
If she goes wrong, you hold her hand. Don't let any noise or failure shake her faith. Just ensure she feels the right way.

I, was an interlude, a bridge.

You,25, will create and experience.You'll mark some larger than life moments.Yes? Yes :)

Good luck!

Love,

24.

Saturday, March 10, 2012

I just don't want to give up.


That girl on the street, jumping all over the place gleefully, playing with her brother like the world has no problems.A bunch of family’s playing cards on the streets like there is no trouble in the world.Did I hear a cackle of laughter from somewhere? Yes. That’s a bunch of people sitting together playing cards.

I never imagined, or did I ? These children are maybe today aloof of any issues in the world and laughing carelessly unaware of what fate has in store for them tomorrow. At risk Children is what we call them. It all seemed like a story from a distance, till I watched these families closely, finding the emptiness in their existence. Such is the magnitude of your despair sometimes that even hope ceases to exist. What exists is an empty laughter free of fear, questions, hope, empathy or even the slightest hope for sympathy.

An 8-year-old being sent to a red-light-area by her mother to get some extra bucks to run the family in some corner of the country fills me with despair as I wake up. There are too many issues in this world and I’m convinced the Why’s never help. The how to turn this ugly picture into something beautiful, is what will help. It creates something bigger; bigger than me, bigger than you, bigger than our goddamned, fcuked-up egos. Our self-proclaimed righteousness, our judgments, our opinions, our sense of right and wrong, we are fanatics in own pitiful existence. Yes, we are. Afraid. Dammit.

An empty piece of box which makes noise at the slightest rumbling is what human-beings around us have been reduced to, even while we crib over the measly issues in life.

Girls sexually abused under the age of 10 in corners of the world. What am I doing in this part of the world? What is my role here? I don’t know. Maybe, it’s not time. Yet.

I just don’t want to give up. Not yet.

“You can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something - your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life” ~ Steve Jobs

Sunday, March 4, 2012

Writing your own story

“When I get lonely these days, I think: So BE lonely, Liz. Learn your way around loneliness. Make a map of it. Sit with it, for once in your life. Welcome to the human experience. But never again use another person's body or emotions as a scratching post for your own unfulfilled yearnings.”
- Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat Pray Love

I read this quote from Eat Pray Love, in Judy Balan's post once and it remained glued in my head ever since.A movie I thought was, ermmmm,kind-of-okay, till I figured that its a true life story. That moment my jaw-dropped. Shortly,I found myself looking over shelves at different bookshops only to find it sold-out everywhere.
Nope. The quote didn't strike me like lightening (HA! dramatic),neither I'm in my thirties nor am I a woman dealing with post-divorce stress. Its just the human experience that gets me hooked on,every time I read about it. Human Experience.

It can be insanely strange,erratic and full of surprises .I never knew, till I experienced, that sometimes your soul abandons you.BAM. And you just feel so emotion-less. It just goes on, to the other side of the fence, and stares at you, asking you to open up to a grander version. More powerful. Free of fear. Aloof of opinions.

A story told to the world, honestly, baring your heart open, baring your soul open for millions of eyes to look into, I earlier thought was freaky. But now,I think, is alchemy. Writing your own story. When you know that you're filling pages with how you feel. And so, even before I could finish reading this novel, I wanted to give the author a standing ovation.

I would love to write my story one day. And I would want it to be real, honest and soulful. With slight traces of sorrow, loneliness, anger,indignation and mistakes BUT an overpowering sense of discovery. The points where you just grasp your own soul and emerge out, victorious. THAT sense of victory. Where you stop pitying yourself and start assuming responsibility for your actions. And take pride in them. Yes. That sense of pride and fulfillment.

And about that undying faith in someone Elizabeth Gilbert keeps talking about throughout the novel, well.....I can only nod my head fervently in agreement as I flip pages.

I know,someone takes care of me, answers my prayers, holds me to sleep peacefully, gives me the strength to emerge, yes. To emerge. And even as I write this post, A friend who's never shared a file with me before, sent me a song that left me amazed with its timing.

A smidgen of god.

Peace :-)