Thursday, April 26, 2012

Universe. Screw you.

It was only a week back that my ultra-clever-self pinged a friend post-reading a poem, "Hey! Its been long that I've felt lonely and sad.You know, depressed sorts? Wonder why!"

One of those times, when you know its quite cool to actually be in high spirits but yet stick out your lip with the "oh-why-me" look.

That was "a week back".* Sigh*

Today, the extra-smart-me, started stalking people online (Yes. I have shit loads of free time and that's how I keep myself occupied. I can even trace Mr.Nobody on internet if I have one or two cues at my disposal. SO! If you're Rahul from Ludhiana, I can STILL spot you. Out of the million Rahul's of this world, just your name,city and a slight hint like college or common friend or hobby or *anything* might be enough for me to dig out enough information about you to know your complete file. Its a skill in itself.*I think so*)

Well, So. I started stalking some people and stumbled upon a certain profile and information that pissed me off completely.
I took my stupidity a step further and started digging more into it and started working my brain around things that are best "not to be analyzed". *Got me angrier*.Next I spotted an obscure comment on one of my pictures. *Even more angry*. Dropped food on my trousers. Found a whole liter of curdled milk on getting home. *Angry to the power infinity* Oh, before that I also had a harrowing airport fiasco (I fume on even thinking about it-I think my bad luck started at that god damned point)

These are proofs of the law of attraction playing its role brilliantly. It shouts into my face, "HA! You wanted it, so here, take more of it. Some more-Some more"

I'm in a phase where I don't want to assume responsibility for what I do. I would rather have someone take responsibility of my life while I chill and practice brat-o-logy. But damn the universe! It expects me to have these positive thoughts all the time or else I rapidly attract a string of amazingly shit-ass events into my life. How uncool is that?

Anyway, the LOA is no child play. It is eerily real and you actually get to create situations. No kidding- I've been observing it and have become sure of it now.It starts in your head. Not that I'm upbeat about being a magnet of bad-luck in the past two-three days.

For this avalanche of mess,

Universe. Screw you.

Saturday, April 21, 2012

A feeling, I love...

Its like I was meant to be here. Why else would I be so drawn to this place, these children and their lives? There are things you cant define, explain or even understand. Its like a daze and life moves in a reel when you find yourself in the middle of something that gives you comfort beyond words.

These are moments that explain signs. Perhaps.

Aisha *name changed*. The same child who is fighting for her life, everyday. She's an orphan.She has AIDS.And, she
has a longing. A longing to be loved. A longing so strong, that it's palpable.This little child gave me a tight hug the minute she met me and I found my heart opening up to her in a way,that's a notch too new for me. Aisha has found her home,her love and a new world at Protsahan. So has Protsahan, in her.
Suman. The same Suman, who can't speak or hear. And yes.She can feel.I felt this surge of familiarity when I saw her, maybe because I'd already written so much about Suman. Her name means flower. For some reason, that's all that I could think of as I looked through her notebook. That's all I could think of as I scribbled a few flowers into it.Flower. :)

Slowly the class started filling in with these lovely faces I'd seen on facebook so many times before. Faces I'd been reading and writing about for months.
I'm still trying to soak-in the familiarity. Suddenly the vague one-soul theory makes some sense.


Sometimes living without reasons holding on to your faith,perhaps being a rebel, is the only way to finding your purpose,calling,happiness,god-call it anything. Perhaps.

A place and cause that has drawn me to itself without rationale or reasons.Giving me a feeling,I love. Absolutely love.

Quotes I used to read earlier make sense now,

"Faith is walking face-first and full-speed into the dark. If we truly knew all the answers in advance as to the meaning of life and the nature of God and the destiny of our souls, our belief would not be a leap of faith and it would not be a courageous act of humanity; it would just be... a prudent insurance policy.”-EG

A feeling, I love. :-)

Sunday, April 8, 2012

On laughing at yourself~~~

I usually laugh at all sorts of jokes, it doesn’t take much to crack me up and leave me rolling on the floor. So much, that nowadays people don’t find it to be a compliment when I laugh at their gags. Instead they find me funny and lame for laughing at everything. How unfair!:-I

If it wasn’t for people like me, how would movies like Houseful run? I found the movie hilarious and was accused of being Low IQ by Dad. I told a few others of my rating and they also spewed disgust at my taste. What has the world come to? Where did respect for mindless humor go? :-I

In fact- Where did respect for being mindless and let loose go? It takes practice to take-life-easy. And boy! It works wonders. I have spent years wondering why some people get lucky all the time while I’m left high and dry, slogging my ass off to get no returns or menial one’s most of the time. And I figured, when you’re easy on life, life’s easy on you. 8-)

There’s this phenomenal person in my office, he’s like the father of the company.:) You have any problem and he’d have a ready made solution for you. A living encyclopedia! Someone with extensive knowledge on absolutely every subject! I’m the biggest fan of his knowledge but an even bigger fan of his humor. He can strike the most awkward jibe at you, but such is the intention that even the snootiest of people burst out laughing. The point I’m trying to make is- He is SO genuine, endearing AND nice, that even wicked humor from him isn’t offensive. He keeps asking us to retain our innocence and naughtiness. To NEVER let that child in us sleep. Even while I write this I’m reminded of his, “Tum kyaa boltaaa” and can’t help smiling. If at the age of 55 plus, someone of his caliber can be such an awesome sport, there’s a lot for us to learn.

Laughing at ‘yourself’ usually requires conscious effort before it becomes a natural reaction. But if everything came naturally, we’d lose the fun of discovering and overcoming uneasiness. No?

At the cost of being called low IQ (arrghh), I think, laughing your ass off on stupid senseless over-the-top masala is totally worth it. Life is so much easier when we stop setting standards and concentrate on making the best out of the moment.

Like Calvin says, “I pragmatically turn my whims into principles” :p

Panel 1: Calvin - Some people are pragmatists, taking things as they come and making the bet of the choices available.

Panel 2: Calvin - Some people are idealists, standing for principle and refusing to compromise.

Panel 3: Calvin - And some people just act on any whim that enters their head.

Panel 4: Hobbes - I wonder which YOU are.
Calvin - I pragmatically turn my whims into principles.