Sunday, May 27, 2012

Do we ever get away scott free?

I met a close friend after really long yesterday and we parked ourselves in a cafe for the entire day. I have some of my best conversations with her. :-)

In the middle of discussing relationships and relationship-limbos, I commented, “Hey! But thank god, we always get away scott free"

She vehemently retorted, "No-one gets away scott free Dash. No-one. We may be emotionally strong and sometimes numb but that doesn't mean we get-away unaffected by people who enter our lives. Look at all of us. We all are different people today and lets face it, it didn't JUST happen." She almost broke into tears as she spoke and I was taken aback for a few minutes. My next reaction was excitement in anticipation of something huge. Weak moments are when I'm sure my friends would get up and redefine fabulous for themselves. *Yes*

At that point of time, I just kept quiet but didn't really agree with her.

Nevertheless, her outburst got me thinking. Undoubtedly. There are people who change us radically. Some acknowledge and embrace the presence of those powerful people in their lives even if it drains them out emotionally. Others become more powerful from within to let those powerful people diminish them. But we are affected. All of us are affected in some way or the other.

Certain people incite a feeling that's unique to their presence. Have you ever felt it? You must have. But have you ever recognized and recorded it? It could be uncanny restlessness or comfort. But it’s eerily strong. These are people who make you pay for their presence in some way or the other. It can be terribly vexing at times and you’d wonder what-could-be-worse. I’ve realized, if there’s one feeling worse than the ‘what-could-be-worse’ feeling, its being unaffected.

Being unaffected- Leaves you with a feeling of being left alone in the woods- Awry, very awry.

I think and re-think, rewind my life and type again- Did I get away scott free? Did any of you get away scott free? Can we ever get away scott free? If we do, we'd be left alone. Is that the price we're ready to pay-to get away-just get away-Scott free.

Friday, May 18, 2012

On fakesakes...

“Damn! Barney is SO me!”

“I can really relate to Carrie”

“I’m like Rachel you know? Daddy’s girl”

“Our group is a lot like F.R.I.E.N.D.S”

Cough Cough!

Ladies and Gentlemen, how many times have ‘You’- ‘Found Yourself’ – ‘Finding Yourself’– in sitcoms you’re addicted to???

Although it’s comforting to see yourself in the lead role of a serial that’s in vogue, it might corrode a lot of awesomeness from you, if you aren’t careful of your choices-that is.

It’s nice to emulate Barney when he quotes, “When I get sad, I stop being sad and turn awesome instead”

BUT

Its imbecile to find yourself in Carrie Bradshaw who keeps running back to Big even after getting dumped at the altar. That is when I want to slap you for being smitten by Sitcoms.

These characters are influenced by lives of unusual/eccentric people- with a pinch of familiarity for masses. Eccentricity is desirable, you know. But eccentricity garnished with honesty, humility and confidence- is irresistible. Sitcoms glorify this characteristic of human nature, barge into our homes and hearts, pull us to the glamour we find in these lives and before we know- we start living their roles.

Even walking on the streets in track pants carrying a rucksack can be glamorized. Rage and hatred can be glamorized. Being stupid and brainless can also be glamorized. It’s natural to be attracted to things that look interesting and fun. That’s understandable.

What amuses me is how sitcoms often become dochartach in our personal growth. Instead of discovering our reactions to experiences, we end up reacting the way our television counterpart would react.

Suddenly dumped men have started turning into Barney Stinsons let loose into wild dating sprees to re-write “How I met your mother”. *Douchebags*

Love-struck women find comfort in being mistreated by men they’re attracted to thinking they’re Carrie Bradshaw. *Idiots*

Piles of napkins are wasted shedding tears with break-up songs playing in the background; vulgar amount of money is wasted believing shopping is some kind-of-a therapy; misbehaviour is suddenly socially acceptable and you find yourself getting used to the drama in their life as a part of your life.

Every time I find abject and miserable people finding solace in embracing situations from soaps that deserve a shove-off, I feel like asking the producers to broadcast a message with the episode,* Viewers are requested to avoid adapting misery and stupidity from this episode. It is intended solely for entertainment purposes and to ‘knock some sense into you - not off you’ *

Alls not gloomy though (:P). There’s a bag of positives too. A lot of them portray humour in setbacks that’s breezy and worth adoption. The yummy actors, an array of thoughts to broaden your horizon and entertainment are a few obvious pros. Sadly, we end up filtering the melodrama and stick to it tad too long.

Pros or cons, reacting to situations the way your ‘fakesake’ would is silly. (Fakesake is a clever term I’ve coined for your television counterpart :-0)

Just a thought, but if someone asks you “your story” few years down the line, would you want to summarize it in one line, “Its just like Ted’s life in HIMYM” ??

Or would you prefer to trace your destiny, being foolish-smart-mean-nice-humble-arrogant-simple-complicated-etc-etc. to discover a character in you- that can be described in more than one line.

On being influenced by fakesakes- Any thoughts?

Saturday, May 12, 2012

How much freedom is freedom?

I have issues. Real serious one's. While I live in India, in my head its NYC and that creates all the mess in my life.

Someone told me, "You are just too self-absorbed. Maybe you should be nicer to people."
Someone else told me, " You think too much about others, maybe you should care lesser"
Someone said, "Maybe you should date more men."
The same person after a few months says, "Dude, you are using men to pass your time."

There are so many things that have been told to me lately, that my head wheels at even trying to decipher the advises.

Days fly past and I try my best to record moments that are memorable.

But time is flying and in India everyone makes sure you realize the speed at which it is moving.

Sometimes I feel old. And then I shrug myself to wake up, "Damn it- 25. THINK its NYC where 25 is young. If the illusion you need to feel your age is being in Manhattan, then think it is Manhattan"

Illusion is a state of free mind. No? But excessive illusion would make you a retard. SO.What is the dose of illusion that separates healthy from unhealthy?

Being surrounded by critics is important. But sometimes I wonder, can a critic be a friend? If people who have a problem with the "person you are" and constantly ask you to change, what is it that they love about you?

Personality is a trait that deserves freedom. No?

Freedom is important. It propels you to try things, make choices, feel lost, strut in dark and figure glory for yourself. Is there a chance that the confidence derived from freedom can turn into arrogance? Can the respect you have for your choices turn into disrespect for others? Is there a chance of things going over-the-top and you losing the essence of being human?

Does it leave you so drugged that you become tied down by your "own ego" and "illusions" after a point.

Boundaries can stagnate.But freedom can be dangerous.

How do we decide?

Should we just allow a time frame for people to go wild in the glory of their freedom years, go berserk trying new things, getting chaotic mentally, and finally hitting a threshold beyond which they need to look up, seek out and decide boundaries for themselves. But would that lead to hurting a lot of people in the interim? Undoubtedly yes.

Even as I complete this post, I'm not sure its complete.

How much freedom is freedom?

Beyond a point is it even freedom anymore?



Tuesday, May 8, 2012

On falling in Love....

This weekend I spent time researching on something called relationship phobia. Now you’d think, why? Why’d anybody be so jobless to do research on ‘relationship phobia’ out of all the phobias in this world. It’s because.I figured.Me and a lot of women around me, have been plagued by relationship/commitment jitters.Capiche?

The thought of anything long-term and serious gives us cold feet.

Now, that is ironical because almost all of us are also eager to have a more meaningful life and settle down. Ok fine-at least I am. These days, marriage doesn’t freak me out and I’m quite enthusiastic about a newer phase.

However, every time I meet a nice guy (serious material) and start (or think of) dating him, this other part of me simultaneously starts preparing a break-up speech. I could skate away into the horizon to get back into my comfort zone; that is the level of discomfort relationships give me. It’s weird considering I’m a die-hard romantic. I feel appalled to acknowledge my comfort and thrills in dead-end situations over relationships that have a promising future.

And hence, this weekend’s research was an endeavor to find out the cause of this strange behavioral pattern. I could relate to the symptoms- 10/10.It’s something that’s not serious, prevalent and also curable. Yo! It’s just a state of mind which would probably get sorted on reading the book prescribed (Eyerolls)

What I’d prefer though, is an alternate situation, where lightening strikes, Mr.Right appears in front of me and we’re love struck at first sight. I’d jump into a relationship with him and we’ll live happily ever after

OR

I break cupid’s head and turn love-less living normal.

Falling out of love was never easy. But who knew falling in love would be such a task!