Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Why everyone needs to travel Alone....

It was Friday and I was at my creakiest best, grumbling about something randomly. The doorbell rang and I opened it to find one of my closest friends standing outside, brimming in excitement. The next few hours were like a virtual tour to something that left me completely awestruck.

S had just returned from her Euro Trip and couldn't stop chirping about how magical the whole experience had been-' inspite of her traveling alone'. I think, it was traveling alone that made the whole experience priceless.

A whole new gamut of experiences and a whole new perspective towards life. SO Cool!

Traveling to a new country, where no one knows you, where everything looks straight out of canvas, places that bring alive every chapter in a book you'd read, streets that challenge you at every turn- with their beauty and mysteriousness, coffee that smells just the way it smelled when you were flipping pages reading that novel,moments that breathe life into that person you become lost in the world of words-wishing you could really experience the truth in those words.

Above all- traveling alone- probably helps you find yourself, transcending you to the next level, bigger and more complete, where your intuition becomes your most trusted compass and guide. Whom to trust, whom to ignore, how to communicate,how to comprehend, how to gather the best out of the surroundings and how to tune yourself into something completely foreign. Your only connection being, being-human.

That evening turned into a fabulous evening, with crazy stories to absorb and a tingling wish to wriggle out of my comfort zone and experience something bigger, like her, and come back- better,brighter and happier.

Maybe we should all travel alone- to a safe foreign country (not some freaky unsafe place where danger lurks at every corner and return haggard)- with our wits and hearts at their best- to evolve into someone more beautiful,confident and wholesome.

Maybe what we all need is a taste of how the world outside looks and feels,to test the limit of awesomeness(which I think is infinite), to break away from prejudices,distrust,doubts and fears.

Maybe. Just Saying. But Maybe,

Traveling alone is what we all need to do- once in our lifetime- to complete our own picture and figure our place in the universe.Our place. In the universe.

"Exploring the inner journey through the outer world"
- Unknown

Sunday, August 26, 2012

What is so great about being great anyway?

I often come across people who in the middle of discussions throw this million dollar question at me, " But who are you to say so?"

I find that hard to answer.

Yeah. A 25 year old woman-with little dreams-I'm as ordinary as anyone can get. For me, my little milestones-even the smallest of them- are dreams-that make me happy.

But isn't the happiness of a society a congregation of the happiness quotient of its individuals?

So, if I live my life to the fullest,protect/help other individuals to the best of my capacities, doesn't it contribute to something constructive- even if its the smallest drop in the ocean?

Our society preaches the greatness in sacrifice and suffering to an extent that it has become a way of life. Youngsters marry against their will to sacrifice for their family, employees give up on their personal life to sacrifice for their company and your contribution to the country is worthwhile only if you sacrifice your life/comfort to make a difference.

What happened to just being human? Why this constant chase for greatness?

The only one life I have some control over or have the right to control- is my own.

If I nurture that one life my way- I'm called selfish.

"Why?" I ask.

As a society with more problems than we can handle and more frustration than can be handled, I think- we need to protect individual freedom and rights more than anything else. A society should lay rules to protect anyone from harming/slandering anyone in anyway for any reason.

Anyway- Do you ever feel guilty for living or aspiring for the life of your dreams?

If the answer is yes, then please do yourself and the coming generations a huge favor by living guilt free and fearlessly.

If you have lived a liberated life, you'll have deeper respect for that of others. In my opinion, that can do greater good than chasing greatness and subsequently judging,repressing and rebuking people.

What is so great about being great anyway if you missed finding yourself in the process?

Sometimes I wish they made Ayn Rand's Objectivism a compulsory subject in schools.

"I swear by my life, and my love of it, that I will never live for the sake of another man, nor ask another man to live for mine."- AR

Monday, August 20, 2012

On being a Creaky Cuckoo..

These days I explode at every little thing that ticks me off. Talk about being unpleasant. My family constantly hangs up the phone on me( making me panic and apologize in minutes to get back in their good books).
My friends give me exasperated warnings, "WE are putting up with this crap but everyone wont. You'll lose your other friends if you continue with this behavior." (I secretly laugh and feel brattily lucky)

No friend leaves or would ever leave. I just know it in my heart, my head and thank god for this every-every-EVERY day.


Its not right to perpetually be a brat. But once in a lifetime-Come-on- every one deserves to be cut some slack and go haywire!

Maybe this is quarter life creakiness. (#Just saying#)

I know am putting my case forward slyly but I sincerely think everyone should be allowed to go through a creaky phase.

The freedom to be a creaky cuckoo.

The good part about this phase is-you can be forgiving, understanding and loving towards other unpleasant people. We need to develop a taste for unpleasant moods and behaviors too. No?

Being cuckoo is good.You can do what your heart says without bothering about what others think. They anyway think you're loose in the head. So half the stress of living up to expectations is washed off already. The only strain you'd feel would be the urge to please people you love and the momentary vex on disagreements with them. Every time you feel that stress- you can let the pressure off like a cooker and things get back to normal after some noise! Simple!

Now-Now. There would be threats from the more serious one's who'd try walking out on you. If they're truly yours- they'll take a full circle and come back.Face palm to those who start disliking you for your inappropriate-avataar. Also, a fist on their face for being judgmental.

We all have our times: good and not-so-good. But there's something that makes us the people we are, the people we have, the people we'll meet and the people who'll stay. I think- that something- can never be defined in clear terms. That something- needs no definition or reasons either. That something- is just a feeling that spins your world and the people who stay.

These are people I adore.

They let me be cuckoo and creaky.

"I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.”- Marlyn Monroe

Saturday, August 4, 2012

On turning green......

How often do you find yourself turning green looking at people around you? Do you feel that pang of jealousy surge up every once in a while?
Jealousy. Possessiveness. Hostility. Come-on : Admit it. You feel it sometimes. Don’t you?
I occasionally get these feelings surge up my veins full throttle, making me supremely uncomfortable. Who likes discomfort? (Unless you’re a retard of-course)
There was a time when these emotions seemed sinful to me. Don’t they show Parvati’s and Tulsi’s in K-series? Heroines don’t feel jealous or possessive. They’re at a different pedestal where such negative sentiments can’t reach them. In my head, I was always the jack-ass heroine in a melodrama.
I tried evading and ignoring jealousy/possessiveness for a long time, vehemently refusing to acknowledge their presence in my life until I realized, the more I ran-the more they chased me. So one day I stopped- looked at the damn feeling- finally accepted and made peace with it.
It’s okay to feel possessive about people who belong to you, No? So why dodge the feeling? Being an over-possessive freak is a different story altogether(Over-possessive clingy people are mental, can scar you for eons and deserve a separate rant post)
It’s also normal to feel envious sometimes. If you feel this tinge of uneasiness when someone says your sibling/friend/colleague is better than you, it’s totally fine. It doesn't make you insecure. It just makes you human. *Note- A tinge only*
You may ask,what about being comfortable in your own skin?
Being comfortable in “your own skin” can happen only when you have a vision of what your skin is like. No?
I mean, if you’re bloating and turning into Sweety Aunty from Bhatinda refusing to pull up your socks and get back in shape inspite of feeling uneasy about your body, convincing yourself that “being comfortable in your own skin is important”, I would want to shake you and shake you till the shaking knocks some sense into your head. Come-on! Look around. If there is even one person who’s living your dream- You can live it too. If you’re feeling uneasy and envious, accept the feeling and grow out of it. Work on the problem, obsess with it if required and make it your strength. But ensure that uneasiness becomes your strength.
If you’re possessive about your best-friend- then you are possessive. So what! Accept it and laugh it off. Laughing it off is all it takes. Really! It only reinforces your affection. But if you’re possessive about someone-else’s best-friend- then go get a brain-check. (Crackpot)
The point being- It’s okay to feel jealous, envious, uneasy and possessive once in a while.Accept these emotions.They act as catalysts helping you to grow, visualize and be the person you want to be. They fuel you up, drive you and nurture your being. They make you human. They make you understanding.They make you forgiving. Towards yourself and the world around.
We’re mere mortals and not super heroes after all.
On second thoughts, even super heroes have their own set of woes.
Remember Superman’s theme song?

“It may sound absurd, but don't be naive
Even heroes have the right to bleed
I may be disturbed, but won't you concede
Even heroes have the right to dream
It's not easy to be me…..”

Thursday, August 2, 2012

Spot on- Judge her.

This post is what took me back to an episode when I was told, “Come-on Esha. “We know how you are" but looking at your pictures, you wont be perceived as the right kind of girl. The society still doesn't accept “such things”- you know? What “such things”- I have no idea- till date.

During the same time one of my closest friends was taunted by her boy-friend over something similar.

We both cried that day.

It was a day I’ll never forget.

That was the last time I cried or cared for being told “I was making a trash out of my life and I’ll regret it one day”.

Being honest, truthful, loyal and strong is just not important. It’s important to meet up to social standards- even if these are set by a society that’s shaken to the core.

Can somebody explain to me, with reasons that are more convincing than “culture” as to why “drinking-dressing-dating” is synonymous to being “too fast” ? And what is this “too fast” anyway?

The size of a girls skirt directly proportional to the respect she deserves? She calls for physical/ mental molestation if she stepped on the street in a nice piece of outfit. Why would she dress up if she didn’t want attention?

….Because she loves to dress up. Not good enough a reason?

As far as I am concerned, telling lies, hurting, hating, conspiring, manipulating and misbehaving are the real defects in a civilization.

As far as I am concerned, cheating yourself is worse than cheating anyone else. Not listening to your heart is worse than not listening to your parents. Giving up on your own standards is worse than giving up on the social standards.

One day- We’ll look back and realize, all we did was judge that woman who was beautiful, confident, loyal and honest but didn't fit into our “typecast- hypocritical culture”.

I know of women who live under pressure everyday. And it breaks my heart. Not that I’m a bra-burning feminist. But it breaks my heart when a damn-care woman is branded "too fast” and the other type lives in frustration and a constant need to please people. It just breaks my heart.

Maybe I’ll understand the dynamics one day.



And till then- You're free to judge.