Saturday, August 4, 2012

On turning green......

How often do you find yourself turning green looking at people around you? Do you feel that pang of jealousy surge up every once in a while?
Jealousy. Possessiveness. Hostility. Come-on : Admit it. You feel it sometimes. Don’t you?
I occasionally get these feelings surge up my veins full throttle, making me supremely uncomfortable. Who likes discomfort? (Unless you’re a retard of-course)
There was a time when these emotions seemed sinful to me. Don’t they show Parvati’s and Tulsi’s in K-series? Heroines don’t feel jealous or possessive. They’re at a different pedestal where such negative sentiments can’t reach them. In my head, I was always the jack-ass heroine in a melodrama.
I tried evading and ignoring jealousy/possessiveness for a long time, vehemently refusing to acknowledge their presence in my life until I realized, the more I ran-the more they chased me. So one day I stopped- looked at the damn feeling- finally accepted and made peace with it.
It’s okay to feel possessive about people who belong to you, No? So why dodge the feeling? Being an over-possessive freak is a different story altogether(Over-possessive clingy people are mental, can scar you for eons and deserve a separate rant post)
It’s also normal to feel envious sometimes. If you feel this tinge of uneasiness when someone says your sibling/friend/colleague is better than you, it’s totally fine. It doesn't make you insecure. It just makes you human. *Note- A tinge only*
You may ask,what about being comfortable in your own skin?
Being comfortable in “your own skin” can happen only when you have a vision of what your skin is like. No?
I mean, if you’re bloating and turning into Sweety Aunty from Bhatinda refusing to pull up your socks and get back in shape inspite of feeling uneasy about your body, convincing yourself that “being comfortable in your own skin is important”, I would want to shake you and shake you till the shaking knocks some sense into your head. Come-on! Look around. If there is even one person who’s living your dream- You can live it too. If you’re feeling uneasy and envious, accept the feeling and grow out of it. Work on the problem, obsess with it if required and make it your strength. But ensure that uneasiness becomes your strength.
If you’re possessive about your best-friend- then you are possessive. So what! Accept it and laugh it off. Laughing it off is all it takes. Really! It only reinforces your affection. But if you’re possessive about someone-else’s best-friend- then go get a brain-check. (Crackpot)
The point being- It’s okay to feel jealous, envious, uneasy and possessive once in a while.Accept these emotions.They act as catalysts helping you to grow, visualize and be the person you want to be. They fuel you up, drive you and nurture your being. They make you human. They make you understanding.They make you forgiving. Towards yourself and the world around.
We’re mere mortals and not super heroes after all.
On second thoughts, even super heroes have their own set of woes.
Remember Superman’s theme song?

“It may sound absurd, but don't be naive
Even heroes have the right to bleed
I may be disturbed, but won't you concede
Even heroes have the right to dream
It's not easy to be me…..”


Red Handed said...

they say LOVE AND JEALOSUY are twin sisters :D
loved this post!! being green is as normal and being human!

Dipthi Somesh said...

hahhahahaaa., totally agree..

Madhusha said...

@ Red : U bet
@Deepthi :Thanks for reading n sharing. Welcome to the page :D

Trish said...

agreed agreed... ^ ^..possessiveness n jealousy say there is room for improvement but i can b who u r :)

shravan said...

Hey madusha.. how's u..? Ws jst checking my fb updates n. Cme across ur article.. I jst wantd to say.. tat its really very well wriitenn.. . I mean u even qouted superman... u must hav hd a really good discussion with your self... :p I hope your at peace with your reflexes.. ( pangs of jealousy etc etc..) now.