Thursday, February 14, 2013

Are you living a Delusion?

My friend recently broke-up with her muse of several years. I use the word muse because the illusion of perfect love rapidly paled away when an uncertain concept turned into a concrete real experience. To put things simply, she was committed “in her head” for a couple of years before the relationship started and ended officially in a span of a few months.

It came as a surprise but not shock to me.

One, because I’ve started finding beautiful girls like her getting stuck in what “they think is perfect love” amusing and two, because I’ve realized if a relationship is dormant and not taken to the next level at the right time, people start playing mind games and sub-consciously turn it into a mission. Once feelings turn into a mission, they last only till the mission is accomplished.No?

Don’t you think most of us in emotionally wrecking relationships are killing time brutally? Although, I endorse being patient and letting the moment pass in most cases; if the turbulence extends to anything beyond a week something is certainly wrong. Unrequited love creates an illusion making you mistake it for some metaphysical soul connection. Reality-check! Connections aren’t one-sided. Please! 

You are just getting trapped in your own web of ‘supposed’ commitment while there’s no meat in real life. The fights/make-ups, ego tussles, turbulent romance- are mostly ‘in your head’.
Deal with the apparitions of your imagination and get over them, I say! Or else, get batman to help you. *Eyerolls*

Get your timing right. Emotional health is imperative, really! No sad depressing music please? No shopping sprees please? No over-eating and bloating please? No finding yourself in movies and sitcoms either please? No clinging on to the guy and taking his bullshit in the name of love please? Act Selfish till you find someone who keeps you above his/her ego. Till then it’s NOT love, Ladies. And gentlemen *Cough*

You’re born to be happy, look good, dress well, stay fit, earn good money, get pampered and spread love! Don’t turn into a lousy slouch ever in the name of love. Its kickass to be a rebel with a cause, to give a fck to egomaniacs and philanderers and live it up to the fullest!

When its your time to love- it will be effortless and profuse. Your fears and insecurities will dissolve by themselves. You’ll be laughing with that person when the whole world seems to be a bitch!
A deep sense of security and companionship is love. I can’t be sure, but I think it incites a sense of deep faith and joy. It is comforting, secure and refreshing.

 “Love is patient,love is kind. It does not envy ,it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not self-seeking,it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrong things. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.- Corinthians 13:4- 8a


Sujata said...

I agree to each n every word of this post..but it requires a lot of mental strength to come out of such a delusion..sadly people get carried away by their emotions :(

Sameer said...

Nice strong sentiment. But does intrigue some like me as to why does it come across only as a thorough feminist addressing a fellow of-the-kind when all you needed for being subjected to such strong appeals from the author is just to be "delusional"(then why the gender?). And yeah, if its about acting selfish till you find that someone, let's all do it together and wait for each other to give way and start putting us above his/her ego. Then, much like the love restrained from being taken to the next level, this might as well become another mission of who holds longer, or the longest may be. You're right. Love is selfless, but it might not ever graduate to "love" at all if we start at being selfish or just being anyone that we are genuinely not, for that matter. Just a thought assuming the post was open to interpretation.

PS: Men can be delusional too. Equally, if not more.

Unknown said...


Sridhar Ramachandran said...

Amazing ms. Dash!!! really amazing!! i am really amazed that u could so wonderfully put the thought in to words and explain love! esp. the fact "connection is both ways" very often misunderstood for one's comfort.

Love life is most often like you said a mission.. a mission to get her to notice you.. a mission to get her to speak to you.. a mission to get her to come out for dinner with you and mission to get her to say i love you and bhaaaaam! (with the graphics of a batman series) mission accomplished! then what.. most often this is what happens.. to you or with you.. (her reference is not because i have taken relationships like that just FYI before you draw conclusions about my character :$)

That illusion melts down quickly too.. we pick up and say 'shit happens' and go on in search of some new shit to get over the old shit.. and its like that viscous circle.. spiraling down to depths unknown and like in inception freaking in that delusional world created to cover up the shit that you thought was love..

Anyways but what i fail to understand or digest is.. of all the people i know how is it that its u (no offense just that i know you otherwise) could be spot on.. with the definition of love!!! anyways god bless you for that.. and hope u find that if not already..!!

Red Handed said...

"You’re born to be happy, look good, dress well, stay fit, earn good money, get pampered and spread love! Don’t turn into a lousy slouch ever in the name of love. Its kickass to be a rebel with a cause, to give a fck to egomaniacs and philanderers and live it up to the fullest!"
Loved this para the most. Actually believe in every goddamn word in it!!

Madhuresh said...

I agree with Sameer. A friend of mine had undergone through similar circumstances. If the gender based discretion is avoided, your write-up certainly is a very thoughtful and sends an apt message to many.

Preeti Baruah said...

Nice read! Ironic, how this was posted on Valentine's Day. Lol!

Madhusha said...

@Suja: :-) Which is also okay....No fun being normal and sorted and khooool all the time ;-)

@Sameer: hahahahha...yeah! Its applicable for men too...i just found it simpler to connect with ladies and so the article seems a lil feminist...the intent is not exactly feminist :)...n yeah patience is imperative....just that we need to keep a check on how long we're being patient...

@Unknown:- :D

@Sridhar: Thankkkkkk uuuuu :D

@Red: M glad u do babe!

@MAdhuresh: Thanks!

@Preeti;ooooopsss ;-) Yeah!

Ronak Jain said...

You beauty! with your writing skills and thought processing is sheer talent.
very factful and bravely written.

Madhusha said...

Thanks Ronak :)

divyachekshu said...

Apparently Nice Post though I cant agre on the below

"if the turbulence extends to anything beyond a week something is certainly wrong"

where does time come in love madam...I would prefer if u would have said "until the couple involved talk through it openly without prejudice"
Just my two cents!!