Saturday, March 16, 2013

Delicious Ambiguity

I’m in a phase of life which can be stamped and sealed into being the most uncertain and important period of my life. The dramatic, life-altering sorts! Yeah! :-/  
Who else is going through this phase? Come-on, hands-up people! I’ll find peace in knowing there are more souls dealing with the similar issues as me.Even my horoscope talks about big changes this year. Partner change, career change, home change or zeeeeeeee- maybe country change! Country change would be near death for me!Also, you don’t have to judge me for being beaconed by online horoscopes. Even you can try,it’s fun!

 I’ve been sulking, cribbing, whining and obsessing with all the uncertainty in my life for a while now. I’d promised myself a few years back that I’ll never compromise on “how I feel” about people, places, perceptions and career. The whole world including my family and friends might oppose my decisions but I’ll pursue things that draw me intuitively. This innate drive has never let me down in the bigger picture. It starts with an unsettling, challenging feeling but always transcends me to unparalleled joy. Experiences money can’t buy! Priceless!
The worst we can do to ourselves and the people we love is to dissuade them from chasing their dreams for the comfort of ‘perceived certainty’. Following your heart is tough but the only way to be “yours truly”. It allows life to squeeze your hands for encouragement as you trace your destiny. THAT squeeze! THAT comfort! THAT familiar unfamiliarity! Being consummated by each moment in its entirety and letting it pierce through your very being till you become one with each other. Badaboom! THAT moment! The feeling just clips you into itself and lets you experience the paramount. Yearning, sulking, whining, anger and rage have their own charisma. You get pleasure from them sometimes. No? I’m not sure if I make sense, but I get a kick out of these emotions every once in a while.

 The going gets tough sometimes. Luck is a bitch sometimes. Things go haywire sometimes.                                              
  The catch is “sometimes”

“Every time I’m struck by trouble, the ‘certain’ side of me sinks into depression while the ‘uncertain’ side starts fluttering in the anticipation of something exciting!!”
Chasing certainty only makes life incomplete and bland. The security of your job turns into complacence and eventually boredom if a slight push of disturbance doesn’t make you reinvent. Your relationship/marriage cannot give you overwhelming pleasure and unparalleled security unless you rediscover love and friendship between each other everyday. 

Nothing is certain unless it FEELS right at this moment. After moderating a feisty debate between my uncertain and certain side, I’ve decided to embrace the uncertainty of future to rekindle the spark in my present. 
“I wanted a perfect ending. Now I've learned, the hard way, that some poems don't rhyme, and some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next. Delicious Ambiguity.” ― Gilda Radner