"This conversation makes me comfortable because there's nothing to take-away from it."
I'm forgetting the date and time of the year when an acquaintance said this to me in the middle of an absolutely aimless conversation. We just chatted for hours, talking about books, ideas, randomness and life. There was absolutely no agenda and yet etched a mark in my memory as well as blog drafts.
If I was to be even slightly coy or suspicious that day, I would have lost on an immensely delightful tete-a-tete.
Unfortunately, most of the time we're haunted by inexplicable complexes and assumptions.
Complex number 1 : If someone is being friendly or nice randomly, there HAS to be a hidden propaganda. No-one can be nice to you for the sake of humanity or pleasantness. No! Life can't be so simple, Come-on! Lets complicate it and dig into the hidden agenda. If there's none- create one in your own imagination.
Complex number 2 : A romeo alert starts ringing in our head as soon as someone from the opposite sex tries being friendly.This is sadly rampant in women.The "I'm so hot and everyone is after me syndrome"! Heylo Ladies!A lot of times, people want to spend time with you because you're smart,engaging and can pull off a repartee effortlessly.Its not always about sleaze. And men!A girl smiling back at you is not a signal to turn into a lizard and creep her out. Seriously!
There is something called harmless/innocent flirting.Its fun and healthy. Its important for everyone to be aware of this phenomenon;understand and enjoy it instead of getting analytic and intense. Its stupid to over-think and read too much into innocuous interactions.
These two complexes are strong enough to deprive most people from having a good time. How can we ever be breezy and carefree if we're perpetually bogged by the weights of our own pompous and cagey selves?
I've been an over-the-top guarded person myself and I confess it has taken me nowhere.
Trusting blindly can hurt but not trusting hurts a lot more.I would rather trust,take a few chances and get hurt occasionally rather than missing out on so many interesting encounters in the fear of going wrong . Sometimes, the most unexpected conversations and people can bring a brand new feeling of joy into your life.
When you have nothing to take-away from a conversation, no-one to judge you for what you said and no clue of what you are talking about- what you get is moments of peace and thoughts to carry for times to come. It makes you secure in some ways too. I can't pick a reason and say why, but it gives some sense of security. Maybe, the revelation that there's so much more to explore.
Also, chilling without a scheme, no expectations emotionally or physically is liberating, it makes you feel desirable in a cerebral sort of a way.
How many fascinating people have you let pass your life without striking that engrossing conversation you might have had, only if you weren't so judgmental about yourself and others?
You'd be astonished to find the number of riveting experiences you might have missed.
Next time, maybe you could just go with the flow and engage with a person for the joy of their company.Regardless of their age,sex and social status. Let the intent be pure indulgence- in the moment-in a conversation-for the joy of exploring someone's world through a magical journey of words-making the rendezvous truly memorable.